The 3rd periodic 340 Club Reunion has been postponed indefinitely

Before there was an Animal House there was a 340 Club; before there was a Dean Wormer there was a Harold "the fuck" Martin; before there was John Blutarsky or a Daniel Simpson Day there was Tim Lutter, Sil Simpson, Dan Joyce, Tim Getzloff, Dick Lichty, Jim Shay, Phil Zangari, Chris Joyce, Dave Petkosh, Mitch Herr, Kenny Giltner, Dean Staherski, Randy Brown, John Emswiler, Sue Krimmell Emswiler and myself; before there were any Delta Tau Chi pledge pins, there were 340 Club cards; before Otis Day & the Knights, the 340 Jukebox; before there were Delta Brothers there were the usual gang of idiots that congregated at 328, 340 (twice) and 338 West King Street in Lancaster, Pennsylvania for a decade beginning in August 1974. This blog is dedicated to those idiots and those times. God bless Kenny, Mitch and Chris; may they rest in peace.

















virtual 340 Club members

Saturday, May 24, 2008

You’re traveling to another dimension; your next stop is the Kennyzone:

One morning Kenny and I started to get “ready” for an AC/DC concert in Phil. The group was to come on at 7pm with a warm up band, which I don’t remember. We drank and party all day waiting for 5 pm to start our drive to Phila. By the time 5 pm came, I must say we were ‘ready’. When we got to the Spectrum parking lot, I noticed it was 8;30 pm! AC/DC had started well over an hour ago, and neither of us knew what happen to the time. We walked inside the spectrum and of course there was almost no one in the hallways and the concert doors were shut. Kenny had brought a mirror for added partying. The mirror, not just any mirror, Kenny took it off the hinges from his bathroom medicine cabinet; you know the ones about a foot and a half long and a foot wide. Other then the ushers, the two of us walked down this empty hallway, with Kenny carrying this huge mirror under his arm! We entered the concert and Angus Young was jamming from one end of the stage to the other with his famous strut. The band was playing “problem child”, hmmm. We had no idea where were our seats were but we did find two seats right up front and sat down. Kenny started to dump some “Lady” onto the mirror to help us enjoy the remainder of the concert. The lights were off except for the lights on stage and Kenny was complaining he couldn’t see to get our Lady ready. I tried to hold matches but for the partying Kenny was preparing, we didn’t have enough matches in the entire arena. Along came two people with food and drinks and said you guys are in our seats. Kenny said sure, just need a minute and asked them if they had a light. Their party spirit did not seem as congenial as ours and they left for the usher. When the young usher approached us and said you must leave, Kenny immediately said sure, move that flashlight over the mirror here, so I can see. The usher did so while Kenny performed two lines from one end to the other end of the mirror, for each of us. After we finished, the usher showed us where our seats were. At the end of the “second” song, all the lights went on and the band said good night! After the encore, we strolled to the parking lot realizing we seemed to have missed most of the concert and of course had no idea where we parked. We got home just in time for last call! For weeks, Kenny and I tried to recall what we did or went that it took us over 3 hours to get there and over 6 hours to get home. Of course, now I know, we were in the Kennyzone.

Where are they now? Coach


Don Kuhns aka "Coach" frequent guest of 340 club

Moved to Anaheim, CA in 2000. Worked as rocket scientist for Boeing on the Delta IV rocket, Program manager for Power Systems at L-3 Comm on the USS Virgina nuclear submarine and now with Hamilton Sundstrand, as program manager, working on rockets and space launch platforms for various space instrumentation. I continue to keep in touch with various friends and member of the 340 club and also what is happening to my home town, Lancaster.

The above was submitted by the Coach of the Year himself. Subsequently he sent a two word slogan that I will repeat here. I was and always will be a Democrat. Coach was too but, more so than I, he was a liberal Democrat. Praise the Lord he still is. The slogan:

GO OBAMA

Where Are the 340 pets? Champ


In a word dead but that is like saying its 2008 as pets do not have long life spans. They are in our life like angels to provide temporal comfort.


Here is a litany of the 340 Club menagerie:


Champ - I first met Officer Longacre when he stopped me and Neal Mitten when we were in search of food after a long all-nighter on the eve of a Catholic High-Manheim Township scrimmage in August 1973. I ran a stop sign somewhere in the vicinity of the old APBA Game Company on Eastman Avenue. Turns out the Manor Township line must stretch that close to the City and Terry Longacre pulled me over. I forget whether I got a ticket; obviously I remember that I did not get a DUI and Neal and I - after a stop at Duncan Donuts - made it to the scrimmage. A few months later - or pehaps dropping his name saved me from the ticket - Timmy Bucher, Class f '69 LCHS, joined the Township police force. He and Terry got to be friends and when Terry had a dog he couldn't keep; him & Timmy saw that it got to a good home - the 328 Club. At the 328, Champ had a nice back yard to shit in, five fellas to play with, very loving neighbors that never could never quite finish their steak dinners, and a wide set of stairs to scamper up and down. While the officers gave Champ to me; in truth he was as much City L's. Champs favorite things to do at 328 were to eat, to play with Dan around the heating grille, to romp, to lean on people, and to play with his fleas. Champ had a lot of tiny pets and one of the most endearing sites was after the move to 340, perhaps on the day of the move, he, Sil and City L were leaning out of 340 windows laughing as they watched old Harold leave the 328 scratching like a madman. He had the place fumigated a couple of days later.


After we left 328 Champ spent a little time at 340 but he mostly lived at my parents house with his girlfriend Shitdog (aka Candy). I would go out and walk him from time to time but not like City L (aka Tim). Tim remained loyal and loving to Champ for the rest of the dog's life. My parents had Champ put to sleep later in his life when he had pretty much tore his backside up playing with his pet fleas.


Hoppity Hooper - hopefully his (hers?) story will appear later when Sil tells it. Hoppity is pictured above on Sil's bed at 328. Or it might be Dan's bed cuz he took the picture.

Scarlet - ditto for City L. Although I have some Scarlet dtories.

Sylvester - ditto for John & Sue. And some Sylvester stories so if I don't here from Sil, Slick, John or Sue I will fill in the blanks.

Up on the Roof Top

As Phil mentioned earlier, when Mr. Kratzert asked us to move from 340 to 338 in April 2003 I took the shortest route between the two structures – I went over the North Pole; over the roof.

In 1979 when I left 340 I to the Outpost of Humanity I was forced to use a vehicle. As I recall I had a small Chevy Chevette at the time. However, as Phil alluded too we had so few pieces of furniture I think it took me two or three trips in my car packed with clothes, records, books, APBA supplies, and stuff. It is likely that Jimmy Shay – my old and new roomie – borrowed a truck and we might have made one trip with a lamp, a chest of drawers, and maybe a chair. There was no bed; we all existed with mattresses on the floor. My signature maneuver in this first move was to toss, throw, and drop all my unbreakables (mostly clothes) out of the 3rd floor window and on to the West King Street sidewalk. I would then go down and collect them and put them in my car. I’m certain even Mrs. Garman had to be amused.

Well, as we left our beloved keystone address (328-340-340-338, get it?) I needed to once again have a signature maneuver. Tossing stuff out the window only to drag them back up to the third floor of the neighboring and attached structure made no sense. However it certainly gave me the insight as to what needed to be done. The way, clearly, was out the rear window of the 340 over the 52 inches of roof and into the back window of the 338.

By 1983 I maybe had two chests of drawers but still no box spring. I remember taking very little down and up the steps. Almost everything went out the window. In this way, Phil, Sil, John & Sue had a clearer path to move.

Although we had no way of knowing it at the time, particularly since Phil & I were negotiating with Mr. Kratzert to purchase the 338, the five of us had only 9 months together remaining and even the longest tenured residents of West King Street – Sil & I – were within 15 months of closing down the Club forever. Perhaps I shouldn’t say forever; the Third Coming has a nice ring to it.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Inventory (of future artifacts)

2008 340 Club Membership Cards (149, less ticket sales ... would love to sell out)

340 Club Keg Man Buttons (1, but more are being manufactured even as we speak and will be given to all who attend the 340 Club reunion)

"I survived the 340 Club in 1978 and 2008" Button (1, but more will be available for $3 each)

Souvenier Program (under development)

PowerPoint Presentation (under development)

Artifact Exhibit (the curator is hard at work)

80 45 RPM Records are being assembled by Greil Marcus, with Randy, Phil & I.

Is Sil in Europe on assignment?

From the Mighty 340 Juke Box





The Golden Age of Music Television

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The List: 1983


During the last complete year on West King Street, a dozen young ladies got lucky at the 340 Club… I met 100 at the VIP, simply the greatest pick up bar in the midstate (luckily for me it was long closed by the time I moved to Harrisburg near the turn of the century), later in life 100 became a crackhead and there was nothing I could do for her … I met 101 at the Fairmont House and we continued to see each other for a decade or so … 102 was on her way to Holland (if ya know what I mean) when Randy introduced us … I don think I dissuaded her but she took a bath in front of me and I sullied her after I dried her off … 103 was a decade younger chronologically and much bolder … met her at the Village and we did it in her tub on our first date, in a Gap changing room, on a miniature golf course hole, an AMTRAK train, at a bar – literally, at the bar not in a booth – in Philly, and on the roof of the 340 Club! she was spunky and bold & actually opened my mail, checked the numbers I had dialed in Harrisburg and called 100 in a threatening fashion (maybe that is what drove 100 to become a crackhead) … ya had to love her boldness … we spent 12/31/83 together in Times Square just when it was changing from a free, place to collect and party to a pay to enter, behave yourself, place not to party like it is today … 104 another one night stand from the VIP … met 105 at Faces, a nice attempt at a classy, City style club in the old King Douglas Hotel … 106 ditto; as she was a waitress at Faces … 107 local, I forget where we met; we were a number until she tired of my act … 108 was from the projeks of Franklin Terrace; her baby daddy was a professional boxer, needless today we were undercover in more ways than one …109 was another VIP girl with whom I went to NYC on our first date … 110 another local girl which were becoming more difficult to pull since my lack of seriousness was no secret ... 111, was different though, she was still in high school when we met and I saw her for many years … we started off as tutor/pupil, with me tutoring her in math … we progressed to Biology with her doing as much teaching as I … somewhere late in 1983 the list pictured above was the last one ever updated by my roomie Phil.

Bye Bye Phillie

In the late fall of 1983 Phil finally yielded to familial, personal and job responsibilities and moved out of the 340 Club (338 West King Street) and to a house next to the family business where he remains to this day almost 25 years later. This left John & Sue, Sil and me at the 340 as 1983 came to an end.

Death of the Ogre

#74 was taking care of business early in the morning of June 9, 1982 when Phil yelled up from the second floor that I had a phone call. I detached myself from the nubile lass and made way to the second floor telephone. It was my mom; my dad was dead.

I had been at my parents house the night before watching the Los Angeles Lakers defeat the Philadelphia 76ers 114-104 to capture the 81-82 NBA World Championship. It was the last time I was with my father while he was alive. The game ended round 11 or so and I ventured in from their suburban home the three short miles to the 340 Club.

Somewhere between here and there; most likely in response to call from #74 in which she claimed she had an itch that needed scratching; I hooked up with my young lady friend.

Upon receiving the news from my mom, I showered. Took #74 home. Went to work and quickly took leave to arrange for the burial of my pop. My dad was a card carrying member of the 340 Club having paid a dollar for card #80.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Spectacular Opportunity - Sell Program Ads

1/4 page ads in the 340 Club program are available for the low low price of $25 ... this is unbelievable considering perhaps, 52 people may actually read the program ... plus if you sell an ad you will receive a $5 discount off your 340 Club ticket price.

Another opportunity exists to buy a patron line in the program for $10 ... or for $15 you will get a program line and $5 off your 340 Club ticket price.

Contact me NOW!!! papabell@aol.com

Where are They Now: the landlords

Harold "the fuck" Martin - landlord to Timmy (S--foot), Tee, Dan, Sil and Tim (City L)at 328 West King Street ... his worst trait was maintaining the house in a habitable condition ... his best trait was literally telling us we didn't need to pay rent until he put the house in a habitable condition

George Kratzert - beloved landlord at 340 twice and 338 ... fought me personally, in court, after the demise of the clubs but the decsion is lost in the County court records ... invited to the reunion as special guest numero uno ... I've promised him that I've matured

Mrs. Bety Garman - phantom land lord of 342, I believe, who routinely had Mr. Kratzert's ear concerning her version of our antics

I suspect HTF and Mrs. Garman have made aquaintences with their maker but, again, Mr. Kratzert is on the Most Wanted list right after Sil, Slick, RE, Jimmy, and Dean.

Poet Laureate

Its a better world with this legal document not implemented. Tonight's feature is not one of Chris' poems but rather his last will. From 31 years ago I present:

First Draft of My Last Will and Testament

1. All clothes to be sold at rummage, proceeds to Ted & Kookie 50-50
2. Quilt - Sue Dutt
3. Poems - Tee (The WEB - Timmy)
4. Radio - Bob Smallwood
5. Rug - Sil
6. Trash in Room - C.I.A.
7. All of my love through death - Bonnie Parker
8. Car - Thomas THomas
9. Albums - to be held in rememberence of moratoriums
10.Books - Posterity
11.My Dead Body - after cremation - ashes to be spread over Mecca

by Christopher E. Joyce

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Where Are They Now? Dave Ream

This is a new feature on the blog. I need reader suggestions, post 340 bios, anecdotes and the like. Tonight's initial submission comes from Coach.

Dave Ream - Dreamo, El Reamo

Dave was a winger on the Chestnut Street Hockey team; brother of Steve "Chip" Ream.
Last known whereabouts was he was living in Pequea with wife and kids. He was running triathlon and appeared to have mellowed. One disclaimer, per Coach, this info is ten years old. His present whereabouts are parts unknown.

I expect Phil, Chip or someone will have an update and we will change this page accordingly.

Circa,Late West King Street Era, (I think)


This was taken at Zangari's South,from left to right its me,wearing the USFL's Tampa Bay Bandit hat,Woody with his signature can of Pabst,Wild Bill Anderson making the devil horns,Doug "The Hammer" Knicely,bane of all radio sports talk shows and Sam "Space" Wickersham,whose eyes reveal all.


This was taken at my parents house as we were obviously enroute to a Halloween Party. Left to right is Woody,me,Cousin Jimmy Z. with Sam in the lower right.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Eels,since we are on the subject


This is undeniable proof that Uncle Don was at the tournament,as he is seen lying next to Terry Groff at the motel. His MIA during the contests are still being investigated


Bobby Rife,on the left was the designated player the Coach sent out to deliver a message to Craig Rice as explained by the Coach of the Year in a previous post. Desi Deeter is on his right.



Coach and team Captain Ron Bilski hold up the Championship Trophy while a slim and trim Jimmy Zangari looks on with Bobby Rife in the background.


The Coach raises his arm in triumph as the "Gilt" hoisted young Jason Zangari on his shoulders.


Coach is indicating what place the Eels of Death finished in the tourny in a celebration at Zangari's South with Keith Musser at a nearby table.

Not Really Curators Corner



338 and 340 stoops are captured together in this picture.














Tonights, Curator's Corner is shamelessly promotional. You want the following things -

2008 340 Club - $20 which guarantees you admission to the June 7th reunion, copy of the souvenier program, attendance at the debut of the 340 PowerPont, free 340 Keg Man button, raffles, dj, special guests and more. Oh yeah and beer.

340 Club Tee Shirt - $10 ... order and pay at reunion but if you e-mail me (papabell@aol.com) with your intent to purchase and size it would be appreciated.

340 Club Survival Button - $3 per; available at reunion

See Phil for tickets, e-mail me sizes of tee shirts, bring cash to reunion for buttons

Sunday, May 18, 2008

EELS of Death; From the Coach's view:

From the Coach’s view:

I knew this tournament was going to be something special. From the preplanning, the many fans driving the long distance to Bel Mont, eating a piece of eel before we arrived for “good luck”, and we had our own security group, which of course included T. We had 36 cases of beer just to get there and all of the contraband needed in case we need to stay an extra week or so(list is too long for this blog), and our mascot, Jerry the live Eel.. We had one MIA from security that never made it to the games; Uncle Don. Last seen, I don’t remember!


I remember arriving at the Bel Mont sports arena where the Pittsburg Coach, Mark Madden, met me and said: “Coach; I want to show you something inside”. He took me to a giant trophy case, which was over 6 foot high and at least 5 ft wide, and was completely filled with trophies. In the middle of the case was a space that he had cleared and he told me that was the spot to place the trophy after his team beat the Eels. This seemed to add a personal touch to this tournament, one that motivated me more then any other game or tournament. I wanted to make sure the EELS took it from him.


The Canadians game was perhaps my greatest moment as a coach and the most fun. It was also what I consider to be one of my best coaching jobs. I thought the Canadian team was the best skilled team in the tournament. A team with semi pro hockey players, big, great stick handlers, and they all seemed to understand the game, and made very few positional mistakes. As was stated from a previous story, the Canadians would intentionally make a team wait for them; this makes players edgy waiting especially when the game should have already started. A great psychological factor that I wish I would have thought of. I watched each game they played, while the rest of the EELS players relaxed, tended wounds, or just got rest for the next game. Ok, that’s not true; they were all drinking the 36 cases of beer, which I should have been doing (damn Mark). Our game and some of our players would also be affected by the Canadian ploy of lateness. After our normal warm ups, the players gathered as the clock counted down to less then a minute to start. I noticed that the Canadian team was not even in the arena. I walked outside and saw them all sitting out there, laughing and one said do you think we should go in yet? They saw me and I laughed and said, it won’t really matter. I went inside and immediately went over to the ref and said I want you to make sure they get hit with a double game delay; they are just sitting out there intentionally being late. I went back to the other end of the arena where our team was and Fus came up and said to me; Coach, WTF, what’s going on, we need to get going now! I saw that he was really up tight and knew I had to do something to keep our minds off this psychological ploy. I ordered everyone onto the Canadian blue line, as we stood in a single file all across the line, I told them to start pounding their sticks when the Canadians came inside the rink. I remember Steve Delinger saying to me, “Coach this is going to be embarrassing if we lose”. I told him, don’t worry, we will not lose. As they entered they looked at us, and later I heard one say, these guys are really serious… a smile came to my face, Fus was calm down and their ploy backfired. We had the edge. I again ran over to the ref and said they are 5 minutes late; I want the penalty to be 5. We did get the power play and I immediately changed our starting line to our best scoring personnel and we went after them at a pace I hadn’t seen from the Eels all tournament. I guess I wasn’t the only one that wanted to win. Our fans were great and shouted “USA, USA, USA”. I am not sure who started the USA chant but I would guess T did or he was influential. The entire stands were filled for this game as we were both undefeated. Almost all of the fans were from the USA and chanted the same chant over and over. I felt like this was the Olympics. It was a great feeling.


As mentioned before, Craig Rice had signed up to play for the Eels several weeks before the tournament, with less then half hour from our leaving Lancaster, Craig called and said he wasn’t going to play for us and that he was going to play against us. We were now short a defenseman and ready to leave. This really peed me off and others. Thank goodness Tommy agreed to play and he played one of the best tournaments that I remember him playing. When I saw Rice out on the rink, I ask Bobby Riff to go over and slash Rice and tell him it was from me. Rife, seemed more then willing to carry out his Coach’s order, and I must say he performed quite well. After the slash, Rice looked over at me and I waived and laughed at him. For years, if he seen me at South, he would not look or talk too me. Of course after the game I shook hands with Coach Mark and mentioned he might want to reorganize the trophy case. Thank you Eels of Death.

More recollections in Pics

Pictures help stimulate my memory a tad. Here is the aforementioned Ralph Baker with his game face on agitating the "Coach of the Year". Ralph has the same "all ahead full" mentale whether its playing hockey,listening to his head-banging music or sleeping.





In a May 3rd post, Tee related the story of Woody, Head Coach of the Yalaha Yazz in the short lived Zangari's South APBA Football League, throwing his dice shaker,after a turnover, through one of the front windows of the 340 Club. After the glass shattered, Woody merely said, "I will fix it tomorrow" and continued the game.
He did show up but lacked the necessary tools or know-how to rectify the situation so Cousin George Zangari stepped up and did the dirty work. Here is a pic of George replacing the Yazz damage.





This is now four consecutive posts from me,counting the obligatory Trivia segment although I see Tee has one in "draft form" which will be posted in between my entries. Maybe all my memory cells have not been compromised by my choice of liquid intakes. Just a FYI,I never drank the water at the 340 Club.

Memory or Lack of

Sil and myself have been chided,in a friendly nature I assume, for a lack of recall for any events that transpired during the Clubs triumphant Second Coming. My problem is that the first and second comings all blend into one.. Personally I was amazed at the time frames Tee listed for each "resident's " tenure on West King Street.
To me Tee,Sil and City L. were always my roomies along with Kenny,Chris and Mitch. I have a hard time realizing how short a stay each of the latter three actually lived at the "Club". These facts are compounded by my living with City L. at Manor House Apartments and with Sil at Wabank.
When searching my memory banks for this week's trivia,the second question, which asks what kind of sports equipment was set up in the 340 dining room, I remembered Ralph Baker being a "star" at the "said" contraption. In fact,John "Mick" "Good Bud" Walton had the same setup in his home on Nevin Street in town where Ralph, attending a Chestnut Street party hosted by "Mick",displayed his abilities,but as Ralph is prone to do, over extended himself and crashed through the paneling in "Mick's" rec room. Luckily the 340 Club had no such luxury as paneling, just plaster walls so the damage was minimal when Ralph sprung into action.
SEE, I do have some recall of "stuff" that occured at the Club.

Trivia

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:

THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS:
97)How many West King Street "residents" tended bar at Zangari's South ?

98)At 340 II what type of sports equipment was permantley set up in the dining room ?

99)What 340 member had the sobriquet of "Wong Lee" ? ?




Last Weeks Q & A's
94) Who was George H. Kratzert’s lawyer? Hint: In 1976 he signed the petition to reinstate Lenny Lane as the Wheatland Inn’s piano player.
Michael Bull

95) What pair of good friends of the 340 lived at 342 under the landlordship of noise complainer Mrs. Betty Garman?
Dave Williams and Jeff Preston

96) What is the name of the restaurant now located at the former site of the Foresters Club?
La Costena

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