1982

1982
JAN – 1st Periodical 340 Club Reunion
FEB – Valentine’s Bash
MAR – Sheryl’s Birthday Party
APR –Falklands War Began, excellent TV removed from US involvement
MAY – Gato del Sol wins the Derby
JUN – Equal Rights Amendment fails, John Hinckley not guilty due to insanity
JUL – Intell poll declares 340 Club, third most popular nightclub in Lancaster County
AUG – absolutely nothing happened in the world
SEP – Princess Grace, dead, 52
OCT –Eels reign supreme
NOV – Phil was raped; Andropov ascended in USSR
DEC - Santa Claus, as always, treated the 340 Club resdienets and members very well
DEC – same five – Tee, Phil, John, Sue and Sil spent entire year at 340; the most stable year in Club history

1982 was in the book
President Ronnie Raygunz
Governor Dick Thornburgh
Mayor Art Morris
CPI – 96.5
U.R. –9.7%
Life exp – 74.5
Violent crime – 56.0
World Population –
U.S. Population – 231.6M
Best Picture Oscar – Chariots of Fire
Ted’s # 99

NCAA BK –
Indy 500 –
NBA – Lakers beat Sixers in 6; the Sixers owe us a bunch; debt will be paid soon
NHL – Islanders sweep Canucks
MLB – Cards beat Wallbangers in 7
Horse of Year –
Hvwt Champ –
NCAA F – no champion declared
NFL (1/83) -

The truth; Thunderbird Motor Lodge:

I read the article from T of our stay at the Thunderbird motor lodge (published 3/26/08) in which T lists 3 of the 5 that were staying in this room watched the trashing of the desk and reassembly (Chuck Daily and I were the other 2 at that time). T said in his story that I, Coach, had nothing to do with it. As I read your apology, reparation, and felt your “grief” to Phil and to the motel, I feel it is necessary to shed some truth and help you understand your statement “I still do not know why I did it”. Perhaps this may help:

We were all kicked back on the beds, consuming mass qty of beer and contraband, and we were all really peed off at the lack of performance by Chestnut Street. I recall cursing to you and Chuck about the game and the way “we” played. I grabbed my pants belt and swung it as hard as I could above my head and smashed the light and broke the bulb, causing a loud noise and some pyrotechnics. The glass was splattered all over the bed. You leaped up and started yelling and smashed the desk. Chuck then decided to help as I smiled, and watched one of the best trashing to a desk that I have seen, and of course, I had nothing to do with it...

I Got My MTV

First, one more reminder - HeBe GeeBees tonight - Shamrock Cafe, 9:30

Now, back to Music Television, I think these speak for themselves



Martha



Nina



PROMO

The List: 1982

86 I met this young lady at Zembie's in Harrisburg where I used to hold court on baseball trivia throughout the 80s. It was a great bar with the world's 3rd greatest bartender (behind Phil, mt roomie of Zangari South fame) and John the Bartender (also from Harrisburg who used to work the Cornet back in those days). I still have #86' phone number forever preserved in a book of baseball trivia.

87 A spectacular show band, The Gentleman & their Ladies, used to play the Library at Lancaster's Brunswick. #87 was their lead singer and she turned my nose the first night I heard her sing. A few weeks later I followed the act to Harrisburg where she was playing at the Marriott. Later, I went as far as Springfield, MA, to see her perform. I took Randy along on that trip.

88 #34 introduced me to this young lady. She was interesting. She referred to Whites as wickers and blacks as Blickers.

89 Another Harrisburger, pulled her out of the VIP, the greatest pick-up bar ever in Central PA. Later, #89 served the country in Desert Storm. She remains a neighbor of mine and is happily with the same man she was living with when we were a number. I must note that this young lady got more out of me in one day than anyone I have known before or since. If ya know what I mean.

90 As Phil already noted, the Eels were a spectacular hockey team that played together one time, one time only. Not only did "we" perform spectacularly in the rink but from the moment we commandeered the motel sign - changing "Welcome Elks Convention" to "Welcome Eels" - till we left Armstrong County we terrorized the countryside. One bar we went to turned out to be hosting a wedding party - the Pendleton's - and after triumphing in Saturday's contests we were in a festive mood. Well, I blended in nicely with the Pendleton's and pulled #90 away from that party and back to the motel. Me and roomy took turns sleeping in a car (or outside) while the other entertained their respective "dates."

91 Somehow I was spending more time in Harrisburg; six years before I began to work there and 15 years before I moved there. 86, 87, 89 were met in the burg. 62 was from the burg but I pulled her off an AMTRAK in Lancaster. 91was a hot little number from Brooklyn who I met on the dance floor under the pool at the downtown Holiday Inn. She came to the 340 on a couple of occasions.

92 was a rare example of someone who worked with me. She was as crazy as any woman that I have ever been with. She simply hated white folks and particularly white men. There were times when she would hardly speak to me or give me the time of day yet she would come to the third floor with me. No explain lust I suppose.

93 was a friend of my sister and perhaps the last white woman I was ever with

94 Another Harrisburger, another VIP score. A Buddhist upon whose altar I spilt some red wine. We’re still friends.

95 … known to Phil simply as “The Bulimic”. A couple of stories come to mind; one time she enjoyed stimulating me with her oral skills as I drove home from an Anita Ward concert in York. Another time I actually passed her next gentleman caller as I sheepishly snuck down her front steps.

96 see Love Quadrangle, Welcome to the Virtual 340 Club, May 6, 7:44 pm

97 I answered her personal ad in Philadelphia Magazine … she was very well to do and had a beautiful condominium in King-of-Prussia. After experiencing her, I never was able to eat peanut butter or honey the same way.

98 Other than vaguely remembering her … and seeing her name of Phil’s final list … I have no memory of her.

99 One of Randy’s ex’s … another white girl … surely this is the last.

From the Poet Laureate

Trivia by Christopher E. Joyce, the poet laureate of the 340 Club

Within a wall of heat and hurt, and wondering aloud ---
Does ignorance and decadence throughout the world abound
Does everything compete within themselves to break the strain
Of knowing or not knowing if they will come again.

Does everything that has an end also have a beginning
At which point there is no creation that begins its dimming
Like a flame that last and last and finally goes out
To never spark again anew of this there must be doubt

To understand the sense of death one must feel dead while living
To all the traits of men of whom cannot pursue loves giving
If there is a spirit within us as of now it is unknown
And pity those who try and find it by themselves alone
------------------------------------------------------------
Love is - being able to feel good with someone because they feel good.

If it's May 7th

June 7^th is only a month away … see Phil for tickets

Who is that Hebe?

Hebe is the cupbearer to the gods and the personification of youth ... the popular, local, Lancaster based rock band Hebe GeeBees is named after this Greek Goddess.

Come impress Randy on Friday with your knowledge of Greek Mythology.

May 9, 2008, Friday, The Shamrock Cafe, 9:30 p.m. ... be there!!!

Love Quadrangle

I met #76 some night in 1981, at the Library, not the Lancaster County Public Library, but the night club by that name in the Brunswick Hotel, not the real Brunswick but the one built a decade before. She was with a couple of girl friends and she stood out wearing a white outfit which contrasted nicely with her deep chocolate complexion. Further, at 6 foot she stood out in any crowd. I took her home that night, politely dropped her off, and followed up with flowers the next day. She had a little piece of my heart and more than a piece of my lust. Before long we were an item. Turned out height ran in her family as her brother was an 11-time all-star in the ABA/NBA. He had dueled Bill Walton for the NCAA basketball championship and now, at 7’ 2”, was a Chicago Bull. #76 and I had three separate spells. In the middle one she actually lived at the 340 Club for maybe a month.

In mid-1982, I had heard about a stunningly beautiful woman who worked personnel at a local manufacturing plant. Subsequently, and totally by chance, I bumped into a high school classmate of mine who happened to work at that plant. So I pumped her for information and found (the personnel woman who turned out to be) #87 to be single and seemingly acceptable. So, I designed a job application for me to apply for a job (more accurately, for a date) and submitted via my friend to her. In a few days she gave me a call and we dated on and off until she ran off with some rich Atlanta businessperson a few years later.

On November 9, 1982, #76 and I attended a charity event at Baltimore’s Convention Center. The event was put on by Sugar Ray Leonard and many boxing dignitaries were in attendance including Muhammad Ali, Howard Cosell, and Marvin Hagler. I was quite thrilled when Muhammad Ali called my date, #76, by name and we went over and made small talk with the greatest. Sugar Ray retired, for the first time, that night which left Marvin Hagler dumbfounded, poorer and still looking for respect. I want home that night feeling very respected.

Later that week, on Friday the 12th, I took #76, who was living with me at the 340, to watch the Alexis Arguello-Aaron Pryor fight on HBO at a buddy’s house. It turned out she was for the Hawk while I was for the classy Nicaraguan. It was a classic fight and the group of us were heavily engaged in the bout. It ended badly for the classy fighter as Aaron Pryor pummeled him before referee Stanley Christodoulou mercifully stopped it in the 14th round Well, something happened during the fight – likely at the end – to cause me to use the B-word referencing #76. Well, hell hath no fury. Let me give you same advice – don’t ever call a Black woman a bitch. Let me clarify further; don’t ever call a 6-foot tall Black woman a biotch.

Several nights later as we lay in bed on the 3rd floor of the 340 Club in the middle of a not too pleasant discussion as push came to shove she pretty much said “let’s get it on”. Unfortunately she was sounding more like Muhammad Ali than Marvin Gaye. Thankfully, at 3 am, the phone rang and I took the liberty of excusing myself to go answer it. As luck would have it, it was #87 in the throes of deep lust. Now, I had a choice – go upstairs and continue heading down the road towards a melee or make up an excuse and head up the road to #87’s home.

I’m neither a fighter nor a dummy so before I knew it I was on the road heading to Marietta to do what young men do. Rumble young man rumble. Upon my return #76 and I lived together for only a short while longer and our relationship came to an end (for the 2nd time). All things considered it coulda been worse. Unbeknownst to me it was just a little worse.

I just knew that she cheated on me (as if it is possible to “cheat” on someone who unabashedly left you in the middle of the night for a romp with another). Every day for the next week or so I’d call Phil at his job as bartender/confessor at Zangari’s South and he & I would speculate as to who she did it with. Was it Scotty Sports Sunday? Was it Jose? Was it Brian of Sleepy Hollow? I knew it was someone I just didn’t know who.

Finally it came to me and when confronted he immediately confirmed it and it was no big deal. Here is what happened. When I chose to go visit #87 that night, #76 made her own choice. I lived on the top floor, in the 340 Club penthouse, at the top of the stairway to heaven (or so I liked to think). Just under me on two lay poor unsuspecting Phil. Remember what I said about hell hath no fury. Well, out the door I went to visit my chocolate au lait paramour. I’m not sure how long she lay there but #76 was a full blooded female and she was not about to take that lying down (no pun intended). She got up out of my bed as I had done and escaped into the arms of another man. Down the stairs she went and into Phil’s room. Phil sometimes describes it as “rape”. I know it happened rape or otherwise because Phil told me she had the biggest tongue he ever encountered after she almost choked him with a kiss. That description of her anatomy was entirely accurate.

So ended another chapter in 340 lore.

Kenny,Kenny,Kenny,Kenny,Kenny

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, Kenny

This was my greeting to Kenny each time we met, said rapidly. I spent a couple of decades of my life with Kenny and although there should be many stories that I should be able to tell, I only remember a few. Kenny always made me laugh and his stories and comments would never bore you. As it was said in the 60’s, if you remember the 60’s, you probably didn’t live the 60’s. For Kenny and I, that also applied to the 70’s, 80’s, and the 90’s.

Teamsters Story

One Saturday morning, as I walked in the door from partying, I get a call from Kenny, extremely paranoid. This was unusual although a slight paranoia was normal whenever one uses the “ lady”. Kenny yells, “Coach, they have me surrounded at my house. They are going to kill me!” After 15 minutes trying to tell Kenny that he was just extremely paranoid and he needed to stop partying (easier said then done, I can assure you), he insisted for me to come. He told me of the story when he was driving truck a day before and as an independent driver he got in an argument with several teamsters at a truck stop. He said he was zoomed up and was telling them how bad their union was, Jimmy Hoffa, and what the teamsters has done to destroy our country. He said after he left, several got on the cb and threaten to kill him. He told me that one tried to push him off the road! Kenny persisted, and begged me to help me; a plead I felt I had to support. He told me to come “packing” and make sure they didn’t see me coming to the house or they would also kill me. Of course, I didn’t believe him but wanted to support him, but just in case, I decided to pack. He told me to park down the street, keep low to ground, and come thru the neighbors yard, following the bushes that separated their houses and then “crawl” from the bushes to his back door. He would be watching for me and told me to promise to do exactly what he asked. He again repeated to bring plenty of heat and to bring a shotgun. As a good friend and knowing that this was a level of paranoid I had not seen from Kenny, I did exactly what he said to do. Imagine, at 10 am on a Sat morning, sneaking down a sidewalk carrying two revolvers, a shotgun, and full ammo, cutting thru the neighbor’s lawn, and almost “crawling”, well bending down, to his back door. I wasn’t sure why but I was becoming paranoid. Perhaps it was that I was thinking what would I tell the neighbor, or trying to tell the police why I was “crawling” on the ground headed to Kenny’s house with full arsenal, not to mention, what if there really was a trucker or two that may be out there trying to threaten Kenny. I remember finally making it to the back door and Kenny open it and said, Coach, how many of “them” did you see out there?” I said “none”! We started partying, well Kenny watch out the window. I laughed at him and told him there was no one out there. He asked me for a gun but I refused to let him have one. After 24 hours of partying, I found myself looking out the windows waiting for the teamsters to kill us………

Curator's Corner

SHAM ROCKS

This Friday night, one night, one night only, Lancaster’s newest sensation - direct from their well-received performance last week at the American Bar & Grill – the Hebe GeeBees featuring Josh Pfarr and living legend, the Randallion Cat Randy Brown. First set at 9:30. No Cover. The Shamrock Cafe, Chestnut Street, Lancaster, PA

I plan on being there ... hope to see you there.

Betwixt & Between

This post is from Don "Coach" Kuhns who is still trying to figure out how to post.

Betwixt and Between Restaurant
One of the 340 club members fine cuisine stops after closing hours

Located ½ block from 340 club,
Seating capacity; 12 people Average # of people at 2:30 am; 25-30
Kitchen utensils; 2 frying pans
Kitchen equipment; 1 gas stove,
Amenities: early morning dining, drunken people watching

Be prepared for one Lancaster’s city chic restaurants converted from a 1 room apt . The cuisine includes burgers, bacon and eggs. This is as elegant as any restaurant in town at 3am. Unique feature is the personal one on one service with the chef, as he prepares your meal only.(Two pans may have something to do with this special service). Be prepared, however, to wait for 1 or more hours for your meal.

Note: Due to the total number of people that exceed the one room capacity, it is important to know how you will get your meal. The chef will call out the order. You must confirm it by raising you hand and proceed to pick it up. The meal is prepaid during the ordering process.

How to beat the one-hour waiting lines:

One early morning after Dave Ream (Dreamo) and I closed the South, we took off up Queen Street on motorcycles. As usual, we are racing toward the square around 100 mph when we saw one police car blocking the intersection at the monuments. I headed left side over the sidewalk and Dreamo did the same on the right side. The one officer was waving at us, but I don’t think it was meant in a cordial way. By the time we got to Orange Street, several cruisers were headed our way, and we flew up Orange. Dreamo and I split and I escaped and later ditched my bike at the church near the 340 club. To my surprise, no one was at the 340! I think this was a first that I recall no one there at 3am on a Saturday night. I then remembered our after drinking cuisine, and headed down to Betwixt and Between. As I got to the front door, Dreamo pulled up on his bike, dropped it behind the green garbage container next to Betwixt. We walked in laughing of our venture and noticed the 20 + drunks all standing waiting for their order. I heard the chef say; “who ordered two eggs with bacon?”, Dreamo raised his hand and grabbed the plate and said, that would be me……..

Trivia

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:

THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS:
91)What jersey number did Kenny Giltner wear when playing for the Chestnut Street Hockey Club ?

92)What did Bonnie Parker's lead guitarist,Richie Scarlett,often use in lieu of a pick for some guitar riffs during their Stones medley ?

93)How much did it cost you for two hard boiled eggs at Soldern's Tavern,down the street from the 340 Club ?

LAST WEEK'S Q & A
True or False
85 Someone actually retained his virginity after living at 340
TRUE, PRIVACY LAWS PROHIBIT ANY FURTHER DISCUSSION

86 Someone who left 340 with seemingly all his faculties later became a street person
TRUE, SYLVESTER THE CAT LEFT WITH JOHN & SUE BUT NEVER ADJUSTED TO DOMESTIC LIFE AND LAFAYETTE STREET

87 Harold Martin is still alive
FALSE, I THINK (per Tee)

88 George H. Kratzert graduated from Mountville H.S., prior to Hempfield being consolidated.
FALSE, GEORGE IS A BLUE STREAK

89 According to the composite (1981-82) Intelligencer Journal poll, the 340 Club was the 5th most popular nightclub in Lancaster County
FALSE, WE WERE THE 3RD FAVORITE NIGHTCLUB AFTER THE VILLAGE AND THE OLD COLONY

90 Mr. Kratzert owns Lancaster Storage even to this very day
TRUE