March 1981

As Keg Man said... life at the 340 was inexpensive.

I had a full-time job. So did Phil. I believe John did also. Randy hustled. We all paid our bills.

John ate like a champ as he could prepare a meal. So could Phil & Randy.

I, on the other hand, went home to my parents for most weekday (i.e. Monday thru Thursday) meals. Other than that I had Coke and an oatmeal cookie for breakfast during the week. Cold pizza and coke on weekends if I got up before noon. I usually ate at a nice downtown restaurant, often takeout at Marion Court, for lunch. Summertime at Penn Square provided spectacular site seeing with a coke, a hot dog and chips. Dinner on weekends would be McDonald’s, microwave tacos (note: early microwaves were at the store with the taco or whatever in a sealed package; we did not have a microwave at 340), Zangari’s South or Lemon Street, the Wheatland Inn, other fast food joints and frozen foods which had to be cooked in the oven (which was too much like work for my tastes). I think I used the stove or oven about three times in my decade on West King Street. Of course, there always was the Rendezvous which provided the nutritious cheese steak, with a couple of cold pizza slices while one waited, and a large Coca-Cola and potato chips. Despite this nutritious diet, I was diagnosed as a diabetic in August 1994.

Of course, on weekends (and, who am I kidding, most evenings) liquid bread was a wholesome substitute for Holsum Bread or, who am I kidding, as a substitute for many meals. Also, spectacular potato chips – Gibbles, Stehmans come to mind – were always just down the street at the corner store.

John, raised hard scrabble where money needed to stretch, used to purchase his beer by the case or cases. Phil, Randy, and I bought ours more on an as needed basis. Often in quarts. We all respected each other’s beer supply which really meant respecting John’s. Cuz we drank what we bought. John, though, drank his beer like water and his cases did not last long either. As a long distance runner (when not biking or lifting) John burnt his beer in such a fashion as to actually extract quality nutrients and retain no impurities.

Phil maintained a nice, functional, clean room; 2nd floor front as he had during the first go round. John had the room at the top of the stairs and, after Sue moved in, maintained his room in impeccable fashion. I used to refer to it as Better Homes & Gardens. Truly, if you sat in John’s room with the AC on and the door closed you could imagine you were in a suburban home or a hotel. However, opening the door reminded you that you were in the wacky, crazy, unpredictable 340 Club.

Randy’s room was truly Spartan. Not much in it besides a mattress and clothing. The mattress was put to good use; usually double occupancy. No one maintained a list of Randy’s partners; no one could. For what it is worth; I’m quite certain Randy has been with over 500 women in his life; a good percentage of them were in the Outpost or 340 Club days.

My room was a mess … once again I commanded the penthouse. The 3rd floor. Two rooms. One to live in – bed, stereo, clothing. The other to store stuff in, mostly clothes, laying all over the place. It was called the annex. I think it was during the second coming when I painted my room black. Ceiling, floors and walls all black. It was so dark that during a 340 bash you could see clouds of cigarette smoke throughout the night. I did not smoke it all emanated from below.

If the 340 Club had been a party earlier (1974-78) it was even livelier now. At any time of day, and I mean that quite literally, you could have a beer with someone.

Ask the Kegman

Frankie Ramirez, of San Bernadino, California submitted the following question for the 340 Keg Man - How much did it cost to live at the 340 Club?

Keg Man: Why are you asking me? Tee paid the bills ... nevermind I see the problem he wouldn't remember. Well, lets take 1981. The monthly lease called for $250 paid on the first to G.H.Kratzert the landlord. If one applies the ratio of the Consumer Price Index then (82) compared to now (205) it can be estimated that what costs $1.00 today might have cost 40 cents in 1981.

So, Tee paid $4,375 in utility costs last year. That covered electric, heat, trash, water, phone and cable. 40% of $4,375 is $1,750. $250 rent * 12 = $3,000.
Therefore, TOTAL ESTIMATED COST 1981 = $4,750 or $396 per month.

$396 per month meant $99 each for Tee, Phil, John and Randy. Dividing $99 by 4.3 (average number of weeks in a month) yields $23.

So, I estimate that it cost each person about $23 per month to live at the 340 Club.

Please send your questions to the340club@aol.com and I will do my best to answer them.

From the Mighty Juke

Remember - all songs played at the June 7th reunion will come from that super fortress of rock soul punk and funk; the mighty 340 Club juke box. Ain't nuthin' but a party.

Do you like good music? That sweet soul music?

Under the category of - Be Careful What You Ask For

Dear Accu Jack,

I know you read this Blog ... I write to invite you to my 37th annual Saint Patrick's Day Pub Crawl. You were an integral part of some of the earliest and most memorable versions of this great event which is scheduled to begin this Monday at 1:00 p.m. in Harrisburg. If you can possibly make it write me at papabell@aol.com to make arrangements.

Thank you, Erin Go Braless,

T (aka Padraig O'Neill)

022081

February 20, 1981

Dear Club Member (Tee, Phil, Randy, John and you),

Welcome to the new and improved "340 Club". Attached please find a copy of our landlord's letter necessitating by our previous antics and a copy of the applicable parts of the City's new noise ordinance. These two attachments should speak for themselves.

Sicerely,

T

Theodore P. Knorr

Upcoming Dates

Always remember and never forget; the 340 Club is not was. The 340 Club is not Phil nor me; not Sil nor Slick; not Kenny nor Mitch; neither John or Sue; not Randy; not Clacktu; it isn’t Dan, Dave, Dean or Dick; it isn’t Timmy or Jimmy. It is you and I. The 340 Club always will be found in the soul of its members; particularly those lucky enough to belong in the 70s or 80s but also including those of you who have joined in the virtual club for the first time. Welcome! The 340 Club lives today, not just on the net nor solely on June 7th but inside each one of us. It is alive when you let it be. THREE – FORTY. The following dates will help everyone keep it alive:

3/15 The Heart, Yonkers, NY
– Stratus featuring Richie Scarlet, 914 375 6620

3/17 Restaurant Row, Harrisburg, PA
– 37th Annual St. Pat’s Pub Crawl, 717 238 5151 NOTE: Itinerary released soon

3/22 Village Nite Club, Lancaster, PA
– The Sharks: Shea Quinn’s comeback, 717 397 5000

4/1 Rolling Stones’ Shine a Light soundtrack released
4/4 Martin Scorcese’s, Shine a Light, a documentary of a Stones show, debuts at a theater near you

6/6 Clipper Stadium, Lancaster, PA
– 340 Club Nite at Barnstormers, tickets available soon, $27

6/7 Knights of Columbus, Lancaster, PA
– 340 Club Reunion, see Phil for tickets, $20 ea

Time Has Come Today

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

I was living at home with my parents, working for City Hall Lancaster, almost 30 years old. If Phil thought living at Manor House was “Manor House” he should have tried living at home with his parents. One day, as I was having my cheerios, my sleepy eyes happened to note an ad - Home for Rent. Hmmmm, let’s take a look ... West King Street … G.H. Kratzert, owner … could it be? I wasted little time upon arriving at my desk. Called George and verified that the 340 was on the rental market. Would he consider us? I then called Phil and pitched the idea. I don’t think it took too long. Randy was next and he had been ready since birth. The last piece was a friend of mine, and Sil’s, from Catholic High days. John, call me Jon, Emswiler was a great guy who blazed upon the athletic scene at Lancaster Catholic High School as a sophomore on the 1969 football team. I followed his career and then lost track of him amid the blur of the initial 340. I was good friends with his older brother Bruce who had went to school with Phil & Sil. Somehow, John became the 4th Musketeer of this iteration of 340 Club members. On February 17, George presented us a lease to rent the 340 – again! – at a $250 monthly rental fee. Signatories were myself, Phil and Randy. No pets, rights of neighbors must be respected, no undue noise and blah blah woof woof.

Ladies & Gentleman – The Second Coming

1980

340 Club was still very dark (cept for one night that Fall); but a couple of things happened elsewhere in the world
FEB Do You Believe In Miracles?!
AUG Moscow Olympics
OCT Phillies win their only World Series
OCT A Visit to the 340 Club
NOV Ronald Wilson Reagan elected – count the letters in each name 666

1980 in the Book
President Jimmy Carter lost re-election to Ronnie Rayguns
Governor Dick Thornburgh
Mayor Art Morris replaced Allie Wohlsen in a special election
CPI – 82.4
U.R. – 7.1%
Life exp – 73.7
Violent crime – 59.5
World Population – 4.453B
U.S. Population – 227.2M
Ted’s # - discussed elsewhere, perhaps ad nauseum, no longer on the annual write up
Best Picture Oscar – Kramer v Kramer

NCAA BK – Louisville 59-54 over Memphis State (which later vacated)
Indy 500 – Johnny Rutherford
NBA – Los Angeles Lakers 4-2 over Philadelphia 76ers, Magic’s first title
NHL – Isles over Flyers, 4-2
MLB – Philadelphia Phillies beat Kansas City Royals in six; I had unused tickets to Game Seven.
Horse of Year – Spectacular Bid
Hvwt Champ – Larry Holmes, WBC; Mike Weaver, WBA
NCAA F – Georgia 12-0
NFL (1/81) Oakland Raiders 27-10 over Philadelphia Eagles. I watched the game at Zangari’s South with Phil, who may have been working, Tuffy Rhoden and Ron Baltimore.

Will intelligent life ever be restored on West King Street?

The Shape of Things to Come

Precursor

Lest I forget, and I almost did, there was one event that happened, likely in the fall of 1980, which should be noted here. Several of the usual gang of idiots were at the Village Nite Club late one evening enjoying a rock band – perhaps The Bonnie Parker Band or maybe an early Sharks show. In any case, last call was given and Bobbi, our favorite waitress served the last round, and the talk got a little nostalgic and soon drifted to the bizarre and finally to there should be a “340”. Just like the old days, although gratefully the band or management did not make a stage announcement, a group of us, Phil, Randy (I believe), myself and a few others decided to buy six packs and head over to West King as if it were 1977 and we belonged there. While a crazy idea; it wasn’t that crazy in that we knew Aaron Rye was a tenant there in my old room. So, off we went in two or three cars. I suppose in today’s parlance we committed a home invasion. Into the house we went and up the stairs loud and boisterous. We found Aaron in his room and I don’t know what the others thought on the 2nd floor. I think a family lived on 2 and Aaron was kinda like a sub-lease on the third. In any case we partied, talked, drank beer and, in general, had a good time for an hour or so reminiscing about the good old days which had occurred less than three years before.

From the Poet Laureate

Tonight's poem was actually written, not by Chris the poet laureate, but by Randy and Tee. It was written during the period of the Outpost of Humanity just prior to the second coming:

The Wish of Never
By Randy Brown Dixon & Young Ted Knorr, circa 1979

I shoulda never graduated from high school
I shoulda never passed that test
I shoulda never joined the Air force
I shoulda never launched those jets

I shoulda never moved from Cincinnati
Just shoulda stayed in Montreal
I shoulda never wished for Eden
and everlasting life for you all

I shoulda never dreamed of Atlantis
and wished for you eternal youth
I shoulda never taken that knife
I shoulda never tied that noose

I shoulda never wrote this song
and you will never wish to care

The List: 1979-80

When we last visited (as of December 31, 1978), the list contained 48 women.

I met #49 (as well as 50, 53, 54, and 65) from my front stoop. I told you it was a great neighborhood. She was a crazy lady, her sister was even crazier (and I lusted after her), eventually she went to prison where she used to correspond with me. I don’t think I ever visited her. #50 burnt me; the only time I acquired a venereal disease – the clap. #51 was a Wonder Bar score; her cousin played in a couple of Super Bowls. I still get an occasional phone call from #53 hoping for one more night of fun – no can do. While I don’t think either happened – one time she called from Alabama in the 80s claiming that she had a miscarriage as the result of her and my activities; years later it turned out I had a teenage son. There never was confirmation of either. At 47 years of age, #54 remains to this day the oldest woman in terms of difference that I’ve ever been with. She was a neighbor and I liked to be neighborly. #55 was introduced to me by a future roomie; she used to say I made her “liver quiver”. #56, 57, and 58 were all introduced to me by Randy. The Randallion Cat always meant there would be women at the Outpost. #59 was a white girl of whom I remember little. The Village provided the venue for meeting #60. A mutual friend introduced me to #61 who was married which was unusual for me; however she was a nice lady and needed a friend one night. I met # 62 on a train; she was headed to Harrisburg but she got off in Lancaster. She was what my former roomie, Ron, referred to as a buffalo. So was #63 whom I met at a speakeasy. #64 I met at Laurita’s which was a hot club during this period. #65 was a young thing but I really wanted her lesbian sister. #66 was a high school classmate. #67 was a New York City call girl that came with a $75 bottle of cheap sparkling wine. Times and prices have changed; just ask Governor Spitzer.

So, as 1981 began, Phil’s list contained 67 names of women that I had intimately known. Now, to most baby boomer’s the “Summer of Love” refers to 1967 and most notably in the Haight-Ashbury District of San Francisco; however for me the Summer of Love refers to 1981 and my new home – which had a familiar address. The Second Coming was upon us.

What people are saying about the Second Coming

John Paul Jones: I have not yet begun to fight
James Lawrence: Don't give up the ship!
Dr. Frankenstein: It’s Alive
Douglas McArthur: I shall return ... (later)Hey Tojo; I’m baaaack
Alfred E. Newman: What? Me worry
Cassius Clay: That big ugly bear will fall in seven
Bluto: It ain’t over till we say its over!
Joe Willie Namath: I guarantee it
Arnold Schwartzneger: I’ll be back
Little Girl in Poltergeist II: They’re baaaack
Unknown: Never say Never

Lancaster Newspapers Classified Ad: Home for rent, downtown location, duplex, 6 bedrooms, bath, lr, dr, kitchen, back yard, $250 monthly, utilities not included

It is late January, 1981 ...

Curator's Corner

On Saturday, May 7, 1983, myself, Tim Lutter, Tim Getzloff, Gene Segro, Geoff Renshaw, Dan Joyce, John Shipman and one other other went to the Paragon Tavern around 11:00 a.m. to begin a day of drinking. During the course of the afternoon we were joined by Phil Zangari, Randy Brown and perhaps others. The group never numbered more than nine at any one time nor less than 8 for most of the day. Our purpose was to go to as many bars as we could and consume as much beer as we could. The picture below depicts my summary letter to Tim Lutter, who - I think - conceived the idea, describing the event statistically. Beneath the picture I have included a recreated version of the letter. For the best read, double click on the photo and read the original.



May 11, 1983

Mr. Timothy Lutter
c/o K D Manufacturing Company
3575 Hempland Road
Lancaster, PA 17601

Dear Timmy:

I don’t know if it was your idea or Slingoff’s but it was brilliant. We will have to do it again in the Fall. I thought you might be interested in the following relevant information:

Total Bars = 27 (17 of them with 8 or more persons)
Total Miles = 5.5
Total Beers = approximately ½ keg

The Itinerary (depicts bar, number of drinkers, number of beers)
Bar (#Persons, #Beers)
Paragon Bar (8, 32)
J & J (8, 16)
Steinbaecher’s Cafe (8, 8)
Groff’s Cafe (8, 8)
Gaslight (8, 8)
Drift Inn (8, 8)
My Linda’s (8, 16)
Ass Hole Bar (9, 9) NOTE: not the real name, could it have been called The Starting Gate
The Glenn Tavern (9, 9)
Ground Floor (9, 9)
Lauzus Hotel (9, 9)
Damn Bates’(9, 9) NOTE: This was Bates' Bar but Gene Segro always called Damn Bates
Johnny’s Tavern (8, 8)
Soldner’s Bar (8, 8)
Little Dutch Cafe (8, 8)
The Bowl (8, 8) NOTE: The Rose Bowl
Harmony Inn (8, 16)
Cassidy’s Tavern (6, 12)
Sundown Lounge (5, 10)
R & R Cafe (3, 6)
Towne Tavern (3, 3)
Hildy’s Tavern (3, 6)
Italian Villa (3, 6)
Bob’s Cafe (3, 12)
The Green Briar Cafe (3, 3)
Catalina Bar (3, 9)
The Tally Ho (1, 1)
27 bars 257 beers (*)

Sorry to count my walk as The Walk but I don’t know where anyone else went. I do know G.G. has the record of 28 if he went to two bars after leaving me at the Catalina. All in all everyone exhibited heroic efforts. Stay in touch!

Sincerely,
Tee

(*) Keep in mind back in that era a 7 ounce draft was not uncommon so do not translate 257 beers into 3,084 ounces per today's standard bottle and typical draft. Those 257 beers I would estimate represented around 180 twelve-ounce bottles of beer (or 7 1/2 cases). Still a lot of beer for 7 of us on average. A case is a lot of beer to drink in a day but to have seven folks consume that much is an excellent days work. It is nice to be 32 years old.

Now, please don't feel that you missed out on a great time. It's not too late. I do it every year and the time is fast approaching. The below picture depicts itineraries for St. Patrick's Day Pub Crawls of the past. While we don't hit 27 bars nor do we consume 43 beers (as I did on May 7, 1983)but the average tour covers 14.5 bars and 23.4 beers. This year's goal is 16 & 24. Consider joining us. More later in the week.

Trivia: 59-62

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:


THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS:

59)What was John Emswiler's favorite brand of beer at the Club ?

60)How much would it cost you if you wanted to just play Bette Davis Eyes,by Kim Carnes, on the Mighty 340 Juke Box ?

61)What did Tee usually order "cold" while waiting for his cheese steak at the Rendezvous ?

62)The musical duo of Cook and Cosey played often at Cassidy's,what were their first names ?

Last Weeks Q & A's
56. Which resident had the longest tenure at 340 West King Street?
Phil, 1,937 days; Tee 1,900 days; Sil 1,594 days

57. Who was the youngest 340 Club resident? (judged by current age)
Well it is either Kenny or Mitch,it is still being researched. The "Gilt" is the betting favorite.

58. Who was the oldest 340 Club resident? (judged by current age)?
Dave Petkosh, 59