The 3rd periodic 340 Club Reunion has been postponed indefinitely

Before there was an Animal House there was a 340 Club; before there was a Dean Wormer there was a Harold "the fuck" Martin; before there was John Blutarsky or a Daniel Simpson Day there was Tim Lutter, Sil Simpson, Dan Joyce, Tim Getzloff, Dick Lichty, Jim Shay, Phil Zangari, Chris Joyce, Dave Petkosh, Mitch Herr, Kenny Giltner, Dean Staherski, Randy Brown, John Emswiler, Sue Krimmell Emswiler and myself; before there were any Delta Tau Chi pledge pins, there were 340 Club cards; before Otis Day & the Knights, the 340 Jukebox; before there were Delta Brothers there were the usual gang of idiots that congregated at 328, 340 (twice) and 338 West King Street in Lancaster, Pennsylvania for a decade beginning in August 1974. This blog is dedicated to those idiots and those times. God bless Kenny, Mitch and Chris; may they rest in peace.

















virtual 340 Club members

Friday, January 4, 2008

E9 Cool Jerk

The 340 Juke Box was purchased in April 1981, many of the hits were old enough to be on the Juke Box (a Rock Ola 432) during its early days in some bar in the late 60s. Tonight's classic is one such record, #36 on the 1966 Billboard charts - Cool Jerk by the Capitols:

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Here is another version featuring a young two year old interpretive dancer, named Nia, who shows us that the future is bright:

Rudy Valentino



The Bonnie Parker Band, as we knew it from 1977 through 1983 or 84 enjoyed several drummers - Billy from Philly being my favorite - but only two principal guitarists, Bonnie playing bass of course, Richie Scarlet and Rudy Valentino. I've been actively trying to get in touch, via MySpace, with Bonnie, Richie and Rudy. In that effort, as posted here in the earliest hours of this day, I discovered Richie is playing NYC Times Square on February 2nd. I'd like to go but as it turns out in the light of day no can do. Despite that find I have not yet gotten Richie's (nor Bonnie's attention) attention. Tonight, though, upon firing up the laptop I was very pleased to have received the following note from Rudy. I had bumped into Rudy's son (whose band is known as Horseshoes & Handgrenades) and he peeped me to his pop's MySpace page. So, without furher adieu here is a quick note to all 340 Club members from Rudy:

Ted,

WOW!!

Great to hear from you!! I have to tell you that I had a studio in Rochester, NY, for over ten years and had an infamous graffiti wall! One of the items in the sea of shit that made the wall was a notice from the City of Lancaster for a violation of the NOISE ORDINANCE from one of our frequent visits to the 340 Club!! I wish I still had it (It's long lost), I could contribute it to the Club!

It's great to every once & a while fall into a remaniscent daze of the fun we all had back then!! Although sometimes I long for my long lost brain cells hahaha!!
Give my love to all, wish I could be there in attendance for the reunion...tip a few gallons of "Jet Fuel" for me....

rudy v

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Do Ya

Do ya wanna go see Mountain at B.B. King's in Times Square on Groundhog Day. Still featuring Leslie West and Corky Laing; the band also features a certain bass player named Richie Scarlet. More details forthcoming ... I'm psyched ... not quite signed on yet but psyched. How bout you?

For additional info check out the new link at the bottom of this page to The Official Richie Scarlet Website. Rock!

340!!!!

to whet your appetite -



yeah, that be Richie on the left ... West is weak but whatya gonna do

more Leslie West -



can't stop now (not weak on this one)



RIP Felix! gotta get my zzzzzzs .... crazeeeee ... where r u craze ... Mitchell

340 - Its Everywhere

I went to the 8th Ward Beneficial Club this evening as is my custom every Thursday night..While watching the horse racing on the Club's satelite TV , I was joined by Don Myers.
Don's son Scott (Super Sports Sunday) Myers was a fixture at 340 and occasionally his brother Chris, a card carrying Club member, also showed up.
The irony is that Scott's dad,Don,actually lived at the 340,after our hey-day, during the 1990's. I told him about the re-union and he said he would relay the news to his boys and he was sure they would attend.
I dunno how the conversation got around to roofs but Don said he had to repair the roof at the 340 Club where it adjoined to the 338 Club. He removed a water stained ceiling tile and noticed a hole,while preparing to patch it he spotted what caused the damage..He dug out a 9mm bullet. He theorized it was shot in the air and its downward path found its niche in the Club's roof.
As zany as the antics were on West King Street, guns were never a factor, unlike today's society. Besides as Tee pointed out after consulting with our attorney,the statute of limitations have all expired. I guess the moral of this post is that the 340 legacy has connections everywhere you go.

Disclaimer and Legal Notice

Based on the legal advice provided by our attorney – Oscar Zeta Acosta aka The Brown Buffalo – it is our understanding that the statute of limitations for any possible violations of the law detailed within the posts of this blog have now expired. In reliance of that advice the names of the characters in this blog have not been changed so as to provide you the general public and also cultural historians of the period with an authentic feeling for the life and times of the 340 Club. Nonetheless, it is important to note that, by & large, these boys were in their twenties and early thirties during that time and one should keep in mind that they have (or most of them have) subsequently matured.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

From the Poet Laureate

April 26th by Christopher Joyce

Woke up, got out of bed, heard a voice, thought it was Ted,
Am I going beserk, or is the Walrus now dead?

He blew his mind out in a car, he didn't notice it till morning,
Let it come as no surprise was he given sufficient warning?
Cause he was hit hard by a Christian who was simply conforming.

fyi:
Clactu's poetry appears every Wednesday.
340 Juke Box Classics every Friday.
340 Club Trivia every Sunday
Curator's Corner debuts next Monday and will appear every Monday thereafter

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Archaelogical Discovery

With last week's finding of a love letter (it was either unsent or a final draft) which included dates and memory triggers I became aware that my earlier memory of moving onto West King Street in August 1974 was incorrect. The letter's date of August 21 was one clue; the wedding of Mike and Judy Hahn was another clue when I was able to pinpoint it to August 28th. I felt pretty sure that I was living with my parents as of both of those events.

Tonight, however, came the final piece of this puzzle. I found the original 328 Club lease. Signed by myself, Dan, Sil, and Tim L. Tim G was on the lease but not present to sign. It is dated September 21 and provides immediate possession. The lease ran from October 1, 1974 through August 31, 1975. It required $200 per month rent. This was to be paid monthly on the first day of the month. The best memory on that issue is that no rent was never offered by us to the landlord but that he came unannounced to collect rent in late November and received two months rent at that point in time. In exchange for that rent he made certain promises regarding maintenance. No promises were kept nor was any additional rent paid so the group of us lived for 11 months at a total rental cost of $400. Among the codicils of the lease was this interesting nugget - tenants shall operate T.V., or radio, or other musical devices so as to not annoy neighbors; otherwise landlord reserves the right to compel same to be removed from the premises. Another confirmation contained in the lease was my memory of the location of the landlords office - indeed it was a 211 East King Street approximately five blocks from the 328 Club.

All (or most all) of the 328, 340, 340, 338 leases will be on display in the 340 Traveling Museum at the reunion on June 7th.

Rare Find

The 340 Juke Box still exists, it is with Tee in Harrisburg, it of course can be photographed freely in all it's majestic glory. In researching the Eels of Death hockey team for a future post on this blog I stumbled across a pic of the "Box" at the Club. The year is 1982, the Eels have just won the Lower Valley Fall Classic at the Bel-Mont Sports Arena in Kittaning,Pa. the previous week. The 340 Club,of course hosted the victory party the following weekend. Click on the picture to enlarge it and you will see the Juke Box in the upper right.



Top to Bottom: Woody Kleinhaus,Johnny "JJ" Johnson and Wild Bill Anderson


Champ's New Years Party




(The above pictures, previously displayed on this blog, were taken by 328 Club member Dan Joyce, depict the friendly puppy Champ playing in its heavily fertilized backyard. The Doberman, Champ's friend, belonged to the last Confederate Widow who lived next door at 326)

The 340 Club over ten years received only two noise ordinance violations. Further, the Club was never raided and seldom quieted by the police. The very fact that our landlord at 340-340-338, George H. Kratzert (who hopefully will be in attendance at the reunion), rented to us again after having experienced the initial edition of the 340 Club provides additional evidence that while we might have been loud, obnoxious, rowdy … we were not unbearable.

The initial noise violation (and most serious police intrusion) actually occurred on an unseasonably warm New Year’s Eve 1974 (1) at the 328 Club. If memory serves City L was in Indiana with his folks. Ditto for Timmy and Dan who were with family. Sil & I were home although he may have had plans for later. It could just as easy of been New Year’s Day although I think it was the Eve. Oh, and the dog – Champ – was also there. This was no large party; this was me and a low-end stereo “Takin’ Care of Business” with Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Now, it was maxxed as high as it could go but damn. WTF! Sil was walking around dressed appropriately for the weather with a pair of shorts on. Of course, the week after when it was 20 degrees Sil was still walking around dressed inappropriately for the weather with a pair of shorts on. Sil was not making the noise but apparently unfazed by it because if it got too loud he knew where the fuse box was and it got quiet in a hurry. So here I am in the comfort of my room playing some loud music on a holiday when all of a sudden I hear a bit of a commotion on the first floor and uninvited were a pair of Lancaster’s finest charging up the bannisterless 328 Club stairs – with their guns drawn. Greeting them at the top of the stairs, fangs exposed, was Champ, the 328 Club’s Black Lab/Shepherd. The drawn guns became pointed guns and a standoff/staredown took place. When I finally ascertained – over the din – that there were intruders in the house I left the comfort of my room and joined the conflagration on the stairway. Champ immediately became at ease and retreated to me with tail wagging. Guns were holstered and cooler minds prevailed other than the lawmen left a noise citation behind for my rock n’ roll on a holiday can you imagine that?

Cheap as that one was one would think it portended a series of such police harassment driving us from the West King Street neighborhood but thankfully that was not the case. Although the next Noise Ordinance Violation (and the only true one since Lancaster’s modern noise ordinance was not passed until a year or so later and I always took great pride, as a City Planner by trade, as one of the creators of the ordinance not by drafting it - which I didn’t - but by demonstrating to the police/citizenry the upper limits of appropriate noise in an urban environment (which I – along with the usual gang of idiots – did) did not occur for another five years or so.

(1) It could just as easy have been a seasonably warm July 4th, 1975 but who really cares.

Respit

This Blog serves many purposes besides promoting the June 6-7 extravaganza. Among them is no matter where you are in the world (as long as you with laptop or have access to a PC and can access the world wide web) you can still, as you could if you happened to be on West King Street in Lancaster between 1974-84, find refuge at the 340 Club.

Over the Christmas holidays I was enjoying a nice visit with my sister Kathy in Pittsburgh and being hosted at a couple of gatherings by longtime friends of Kate’s (ne Kathy). It was fun and refreshing and different from my usual gang of slobs and idiots. However, at this one particular moment I would have loved to have had another overweight, beer infused, sexist bastard to watch football with rather than to hear this incessant bleating about how Hilary Clinton was going to save the world. Blah, Blah, Blah. Gore? He isn’t even in the race. Obama? That Black Muslim can’t win and that Oprah should stick to her soapy TV show. Edwards? He is a midget. They are all unelectable only Hilary can beat the G.O.P. Blah, Blah, Blah.

ENUFFFF!!! Do you happen to have a PC that I could use to check my e-mail? … you do … well thank you… up the stairs, to the right, peace … turn it on (after soliciting her pass word – but I’m sure its been changed by now) … sweet Lord … blogger.com … now my password … the340club@aol.com … ahhhh! … quickly fire up the Sex Pistols … followed by the Tex-Mex pair – 96 Tears and Wooly Bully … watch it now, watch it … read a little madness … finally to bring me down to a normal level the Toy's Lovers Concerto ... bookmark the site in case I needed to come back … turn off the PC … back to the gathering.

The hostess apparently had taken some Ibogaine or horse tranquilizer because she was off her Hilary soap box although still gently berating her ex-hubbie for his support of Edwards. It was a nice time after that but I don’t know what I’d of done if not for the respit achieved on West King Street through the magic of Al Gore’s invention. Thank you Jesus. Merry Christmas!

P.S. Jenny, if you ever use that bookmark I had a nice time and I appreciate your friendship and hospitality. I also am with you on whomever gets the Democratic nomination needs to win in November.

Monday, December 31, 2007

TACO Revisited

Lefty Lefever


The "Human Race",sponsored by JJ (left),with Spyder Hahn in the lead and Fred Kendall (Second from right)..


NOTE:All participants had to hold a cup of beer during the duration of the race




Johnny "J.J" Johnson, who has t-shirts from Taco # 2 thru Taco # 17 provided these pics. JJ has lots more and promised to assemble them in some organized fashion soon. Perhaps Lefty Lefever and him can create a "Sister Blog" to the Virtual 340 Club and we can link them together. TACO is a "legend" in itself much like our W.King Street days and though both residents and members of the 328-340-338 Clubs attended these events the connection is only transient.

The 340 Club Bear





(This picture, taken today, is of the 340 Club Bear demonstrating his technique for landing on his back.)








In 1982, a horde of returnees from three days of celebrating the annual rebirth of the earth descended on the 340 Club on a McMorial Day afternoon and they were joined hy the usual gang of idiots that were somehow drawn to the Club. At 4:00 silence, nobody home but me sleeping of the drunk in my 3rd floor penthouse when all of a sudden there were scores of folks in the house screaming "THREE FORTY!" or "TACO!" at the top of their lungs in increasingly maniacal tones. Then the Juke Box would kick in with the Gilt putting 20 or so quarters into it – They’re Coming to Take Me Away, hah hah hee hee or the Eve of Destruction (it was that) or In 1814 We Took a Little Trip. Madness reigned. I distinctly remember Flounder, a visitor from Faber College, standing across the street rubbing his hands together saying “Boy, is this great!”

It was no wonder then that the bear stirred. I know I shoulda stopped him but I was in no condition to do so or to resist the moment. When the large stuffed bear shook me I had no choice but to get up and see what it wanted. It was a 4’ or 4’6” golden stuffed teddy bear with a shit eatin’ grin on its face and mischief in its eyes. It wanted to party. The bear was born in Millersville circa 1973 so it was a good ten years old and shoulda known better but perhaps it never received proper parenting because before the sun went down the bear found itself outside on the ledge of the third floor of the 340. Posturing itself out there until it was noticed by neighbors and stragglers coming to the 340. Soon word spread inside the house and individuals – heavily inebriated by the sum of the weekend’s treats - were now pouring out of the 340 and peering upwards towards the bear. I will leave the rest of the story, I hope, to be told by the bear himself as interviewed by Daniel, a stuffed tiger puppet. Currently, Da Bear is now 34 years old (which is 34 years in human years) and Daniel is 52 years old:






(Daniel interviewing the Bear)









DANIEL: How are you doing today? I assume you are much excited as we enter 2008 with a 340 Club reunion upcomimg.

DA BEAR: Oh yes it was my idea. Mine and the 340 Keg Man.

DANIEL: Hmmmm … if you say so. Well, you know what I want to talk about. That jump you did back in Lancaster. When was that?

DA BEAR: Oh that … I believe it was on McMorial Day, perhaps in ’82 or ’83. I was just a young cub.

DANIEL: For those who do not know, could you describe what went on that day?

DA BEAR: Well, for one thing I was left alone all weekend like a latchkey kid. No one appeared to be concerned whether I lived or died. Tee comes home on Monday, McMorial Day, and immediately goes to sleep – in the middle of the day for cryin’ out loud – leaving me in the annex in the middle of that mess. As you know Daniel since you were often at the bottom of a pile also; that annex could – even in the context of the 340 Club – be construed as a real mess.

DANIEL: You got that right; our owner was a slob

DA BEAR: Was? … but I digress …. Well all of sudden the quiet was broken by the slamming of the door and soon there was a “340” going on downstairs and still Tee slept. I went into his room and jumped on him several times but he hardly stirred. I was getting in one of those moods and I didn’t know what to do.

DANIEL: So you just had to go out the window? Seems reasonable.

DA BEAR: Yeah, it was all I could think of … next thing you know those neighbors across the street saw me … you know the ones that called the Mayor the time Tee was streaking on West King? … and they were pointing up at me … then the Club emptied and everyone was out on the sidewalks on both sides of the street and I think Tee woke up about then.

DANIEL: So then you jumped?

DA BEAR: No … actually I was going to crawl back into the bedroom when everyone – led by that Giltner boy – began to jump & shout screaming “Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump.”

DANIEL: So then you jumped?

DA BEAR: Yeah … I suppose … I actually did not jump but rather just sort of rolled into a somersault … two rotations before landing perfectly on my amply padded back on the sidewalk. I received a very nice round of applause for my effort and we all went back into the 340 and continued partying. It was really no big deal but people still ask me about it.

DANIEL: Well thanks 340 Club Bear for sharing your story and I look forward to seeing you at the Knights of Columbus on June 7th.

DA BEAR: You’re welcome Daniel. I would not miss this one for the world and I’m very glad the Knights is only a two story structure.

Happy New Year from the 340 Club

Happy New Year and God Bless to all readers of this blog as well as to all whose parents won’t let them read it and those who, somehow, are unaware of it. The 340 Club wishes a blessed and safe holiday season for all of you. We hope to see you at the reunion next year.

IMPORTANT DATES FOR 2008
December 31, 2007 New Year’s Eve
February 14, 2008 Valentine’s Day
February 29, 2008 Sadie Hawkins Day
March 17, 2008 Saint Patrick’s Day
April, 2008 Opening Days
June 6, 2008 340 Club at the Lancaster Barnstormers
June 7, 2008 340 Club Reunion

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Trivia Questions 14-16

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:


THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS:
14.For what event did the 338 Club assemble the largest submarine sandwich,orchestrated by Jimmy Zangari, in W.King Street history ?

15. How did Woody K. and others solve the dilemna of returning from the kitchen with enough beers for everybody ?

16.Who did the freshly showered young Ted Knorr call after stepping in some puppy pooh outside the 340 bathroom ?


LAST WEEK'S Q & A
11. Who won the only Zangari South APBA football League Super Bowl (played at the 340 Club bar)? Young Ted Knorr's Lancaster Pretty Ladies defeated John "Mick" Walton's Quebec City Quackers 41-24

12. What first name was shared by two 328 Club members? Tim Getzloff and Tim Lutter

13. Who launched the fireworks on July 4th from the roof of the 338 Club ? Kenny Giltner (RIP)

More TACO

As Phil mentioned, The Annual Celebration Of Life And Rebirth Of The Earth Festival was some affair. Over 100 (peaking at maybe 200?) Lancaster County merry makers gathered over a hundred miles from home (the only site I remember was near Greencastle about 102 miles from the 340 Club) engaging in loud, raucous, bacchanal. I’m hoping Johnny Johnson or George Zangari (or others) – 340 Club members – who are more stooped in the tradition, history and origins of TACO might send some comments to this blog regarding TACO background and their experiences. I remember Johnny as an affable host whether at TACO or his home and George as the consummate gap filler in whatever needed to be done be it at 340 or on the road.

For me, TACO was just another drunk (albeit a major one). There was no one at TACO less prepared for the wild than me. I’d drive up to TACO late in the afternoon of Saturday and pull my car up as close as possible to the campsite and that would be my spot, my tent, my car. I would then partake of copious quantities of beer, dogs, burgers, salads, chips, pretzels, shots of booze and more beer. Sampling the contraband (nice word Phil) and taking in the scene. Then round midnight or late retreat to my tent (i.e. my car) and wake up when either noise or heat or some slob opening my fucking door whichever came first occurred. Sundays at TACO (Fridays, Saturdays and Mondays too for the true believers) were an ordeal that began with a nice breakfast and perhaps some Wild Turkey certainly more contraband and then beer. It can be pretty swarm on McMorial Day weekend and drinking all day (God help you if, unlike me, you had drank all day Friday and Saturday) under those conditions can be a difficult assignment. Although, it would be nice to have such an assignment today. All day there would be music in many campsites, Frisbees, and puppies abounding. Delicious aromas in the air; have I mentioned contraband. Late in the afternoon it would be a retreat to my car or the back of a pickup for a siesta of sorts although sleeping during the day was dangerous particularly if one fell out at a strange campsite. You could be wearing or not wearing strange things and substances and may well have been the brunt of some sophomoric humor while you napped. It is my recollection that there was some sort of Sunday services in the most informal fashion with unordained ministers. When the sun went down the tempo picked up and reached feverish pitch around the campfire. I remember being jealous of the guys with the guitars and the abs. It was a nice combination to have in the company of the lovely TACO damsels.

Monday morning was a chore rising. This time, for me at least, it was a breakfast devoid of the most popular libations and then off home. For others, it was more drinking and the tearing down of a camp. It is my memory that I would get back to the 340 – this would have occurred in 82 or 83 – and get another nap in before a caravan of merrymakers – both TACO attendees and the usual gang of idiots – descended on the 340 to wrap up the McMorial affair. On one of these occasions I could not stop my big stuffed bear from partying, perhaps, just a little too much but that is another post.

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