Coach of the Year

Don Kuhns aka "Coach" was the mastermind of the Eels of Death hockey team, a story that was previously posted on this blog. Coach earned his nickname early on with the legendary Chestnut Street Hockey team. He has since moved out west to sunny/earthquake prone/wild fire hotbed/mudslide susceptible California but he plans on making the re-union this June. Here is a note from the Coach.

"I am trying to catch up with the blogs before our reunion. I havent had one trivia question right. Was I there at the 340?
Just jotted a few things I think I remember from the Eels weekend:

I remember looking at the largest rink we would play and realized that time management was a key to be able to survive, especially all of the drinking and partying we would do. I asked Kenny if he would be my assistant coach and to keep track of each line on rink. I told Kenny this was important or we would burn out, and also to let me know if he seen anyone tired or hurt. As the first game started, I wondered where he could be. I asked his roomies, but they didn’t know, I searched around our bench, but no Kenny. I then looked across the rink and saw Kenny sitting up on the top bleachers with the only other party team, with a keg and a large joint (about a foot long with red/white and blue papers). I was glad when Woody said he would help me, which he did a great job. After about half of the first period was gone, Kenny came over laughing and said what do you want me to do, Coach? I said “ Your fired”, Of course, knowing how serious this was, he laughed and laughed and went over to sit with Jerry the Eel

Kenny did however save our mascot or who knows the outcome of the weekend. One team took a slash at the jar with Jerry, but Kenny held onto the jar and growled at the other team.

The story that needs to be told was after the victory, and we all got home, Jerry the eel, after serving his mission perfectly, jumped out of container and ended his career. I don’t know the details but Bilski would."

1976

The story so far ...
01 Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman debuts debuts
07 Bicentennial, Entebbe, Gong Show, All-Star Game, Olympics – what a fucking month!
08 Lenny Lane announces candidacy for President and promptly spits on the barmaid
08 Legionairres Disease in Philly
10 Jim Shay leaves 340
10 Ted takes employment at City Hall
11 Jimmy Carter elected President

1976 in the Book
President Gerald Ford; Jimmy Carter was Presdent-elect
Governor Milton Shapp
Mayor Dick Scott
CPI 56.9
U.R. 7.7%
Life exp 72.9
Violent crime 52.9
World Population: 4.158B
U.S. Population: 218M
Ted's # 17
Best Picture One Flew Over the Cukoos Nest

NCAA BK Indiana, undefeated
Indy 500 Johnny Rutherford
NBA Boston Celtics 4-2 over Phoenix Suns
NHL Montral Canadiens sweep, 4-0, over Philly
MLB Cincinnati Reds sweeps Yankees, 4-0
Horse of Year Forego, back to back to back
Hvwt Champ Muhammad Ali
NCAA F Pittsburgh Panthers (12-0)
NFL Oakland 32-14 over Minnesota (1/77)

Happy New Year to the virtual 340 Club! 340 Club has operated for 832 days!!!

Funny Picture (no significant 340 link)

Driving Miss Hillary



Special thanks to 328 Clubber Dick Lichty for submitting

Mayor Fezziwig's Christmas Party

I first “worked” for Mayor Monaghan is 1969 on his election campaign as a Young Democrat while at Millersville. On Election Day 1973, I was on the road. However, the first Mayor that I actually worked for was Dick Scott who beat Mayor Monaghan in that ’73 contest. The chance encounter on the cinders led me to employment in the Bureau of Planning in Mayor Scott’s City Hall. Mayor Scott was a lot of things, devoted, courageous, principled, disiplinarian, human and, at Christmastime, he was a regular Fezziwig. City Hall, the building, was a great place to be on Christmas Eve during the time I worked there (i.e. 1976-87). Some years were better than others but political correctness was just a gleam in Hillary’s eye then and M.A.D.D. had absolutely no influence in the governmental center of Lancaster. For better or for worse to be sure but that is the way it was nonetheless.

I punched in at 8:30 and worked hard till around 11 when one started watching both clock and supervisor. Is it time yet? No. However, elsewhere in the building in fiefdom’s under Krimmell or Lawrence or other building it was time. It was beginning. Spreads were being laid out. Bottles chilled. In later years I’d fill the morning time with site visits to other agencies funded by the city and ultimately I’d adjourn to a long lunch and, upon my return, at 1:00 City Hall would be a party.

It can’t be like it was anymore in these repressive, almost prohibitionary, times we live in nor was it like this at the State in ’88 or since but … let me tell you from 1 till 3 when people started to trickle out it was a mix of beer, booze, chips, pretzels, potato salad, beer, sandwiches, desserts, booze & beer, a little debauchery, oh yeah gift exchange in the division, beer runs, booze & beer, cigarette smoke (in the early days), damsels on your lap, beer, booze, few more pretzels, more beer … and suddenly everyone was gone. I’d take a walk downstairs … nothing … perhaps Naomi closing down her shop … back thru one … no one … silent night ... up the back stairs … no Faye … no Harry … but I do hear a little noise … unmistakable … the Mayor’s Office … “its not over till I say its over” boomed the Mayor … not much food but plenty of booze … City Hall would not close till 5 or so … the Mayor’s Office was open for business … monkey business … the Mayor, his closest aids and friends and stragglers like me would sit around converse, cajole, and drink up all remaining yuletide cheer. I’d have to say no such City Hall Christmas was like my first, that first one coulda matched any 340 Club affair (at least in my wide open eyes), they declined after that (no cigarettes, less frivolity, less booze, later starts, etc,) but I have to tell you the ’87 party, even after over a decade of diminishing debauchery, was still a stunner especially when compared to today’s stifled atmosphere.

Bless me Father for I have sinned

Unlike 1975 - when I had more in common with my virginal days then having gained any carnal knowledge; 1976 was the year when I lost any pretense of innocence.

After the Passion Queen in March came Dimples Dumpling, Helga (was she the Dutch Lady?), Easy East Pete (or Easiest Piece according to Phil’s list), Skyscraper, Car Lot Owner’s Wife, Dimples Dumpling’s friend, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and several others. It was a decadent year in a decadent decade. I remember most but have no interesting stories just drunken debauchery mostly at the Wheatland Inn and/or the Village.

From the Mighty 340 Juke Box: J5

Mark Your Calendar

In four months it will be the big day!!! Attend the Barnstormers game on Friday; run the five mile run on Saturday morning; have a nice meal somewhere ... and then at 7:00 p.m. drift on down to the Knights of Columbus to take part in the first 340 Club party in almost a quarter century!

There are still a few tickets available, see Philip or me to secure one ... $20 each. Every attendee will receive a 2008 340 Club card, a commemorative button, souvenier program, admission to the party which will include beer, munchies, DJ, 340 Club museum, powerpoint presentation, and a few celabratory comments. Also tee-shirts, additional buttons will be available for sale; 50/50 raffles will make this the event of the late spring.

*********

Another big day approaching is my 37th annual Saint Patrick's Day Crawl to be held in Harrisburg this year on March 17th beginning at 2:00 p.m. All are welcome; if interested let me know at papabell@aol.com. Here is the current itinerary:

1:00 Garrason'ts Tavern
2:10 Tap Room
2:30 Club Wanda
2:50 Al's
3:10 Midtown Tavern
3:30 Firehous
3:55 Ceolta's
4:20 KoKoMo's
4:50 Zembies (dinner)
6:00 The Pep Grill
6:30 Molly Brannigan's
7:00 Scott's
7:30 McGrath's
8:00 Quarters
8:30 St. Moritz
9:00 Mercados
9:30 home ... crashers welcome

I hope to see you at both of these events!!!

Pigskin Classics

I attended two historical football games in the fall of ’76 –

November 26, 1976
Pitt 24, Penn State 7
It was the Panthers first win over the Nits since 1965. Pitt was paced by a Heisman clinching performance by Tony Dorsett (224 yards on 38 carries) in a game played at Three Rivers Stadium at night.

December 19, 1976
Pittsburgh Steelers 40, Baltimore Colts 14
This was the Rooney’s favorite Steeler team and thought by many experts to be the best of the decade despite four other Super Bowl winning teams from the City of Champions. What beat this team? In this very game both Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier suffered season ending injuries. Gratefully the game was a lopsided Steeler victory because it caused a lot of disappointed Colt fans to depart the stadium early. Minutes after the end of the game a small, twin engine plane crashed into Memorial Stadium’s upper deck where, had the game been competitive, thousands of fans would have still have been present. As it turned out no one was killed including the pilot, Donald Kroner, who was fined for dangerous and careless flying.

From the Poet Laureate

by Christopher E. Joyce, 340 Club, January 1977-June 1977

Try and look inside your mind
There is much unknown to find
Be self honest you are not blind
Recognize when you are unkind

There can be no reason or rhyme
For any persons deliberate crime
Or for transgressions which are sublime
For these, this world shall have no time

There is no benefit in acting coy
Or other people trying to annoy
Instead show love for every girl and boy
And permeate this world with joy

Drinking One for Dane!

Wow! A big day on the Blog!

These things are supposed to be interactive; to date Phil aptly describes the blog as me and him IMing or e-mailing each other. Other than Sil's posts and contributions of memories from many there has been very little posted interaction. However today that changed with two anonymous comments that weren't left by me and a very nice, though a sad tribute of sorts, e-mail from a reader in Atlanta which I enclose herein. Communications like this makes the blog worthwhile as will 150 of us gathering at the 340 Club reunion on June 7 at the Knights of Columbus.

Hi Ted!

I found your site last night as I was googling Dane Laudenberger; I moved to Lancaster County in 1975 and was a frequent flyer at Luckee's. Dave Emmerick owned an antique store in Paradise where I lived and worked for a bit. It was quite an experience!! Dane was a very good friend and I dated him for a while. We were both born on the same day, July 1st. Last night I read that Dane had died in 2000. It was very distressing to learn that he had passed over at such a young age.

Laudenberger, Dane M b. 07/01/1947, d. 01/12/2000
US Marine Corps, PFC, Lancaster, PA Plot: 17-A 0 566, bur. 01/24/2000

I was wondering if you remember a man named Michael that worked for David Emmerick?At the time he was an artist and had long hair. I have been trying for a long time to remember his name. Do you remember the tee shirts that said Luckee's has Crabs?

Your blog brought back many fun memories for me! Thank you!

Karen

As Dean used to say; keep those cards and letters comin' in folks.

Curator's Corner: Citizens for Lenny Lane

Prior to both parties, first the challengers - the Democrats - in New York City July 12-16, 1976, and subsequently the incumbent Republicans, in Kansas City in August, nominated their candidates for President of the United States; Lenny Lane running unencumbered by platform or running mate announced his candidacy for President of the United States. It was an uphill fight but not an unwinnable one. For, if all 25 patrons present at the Wheatland Inn the night Lenny announced told someone else to vote for him the next day and if those 50 told another the next day and so on, within 22 days Lane's support would have totaled 41 million votes; within 25 days every man, woman, child, in the country would have been for him and, do the math, after 33 days everyone on the planet would have been solidly behind his candidacy. Imagine if he had a platform.

Sadly, after about a week and at a time when he had approximately 1600 supporters, Lenny - for reasons known only to him - spit on the barmaid. Al Trimble, ever the gentleman, suspended Lenny from his job as piano man and the campaign was suspended. Was this a conspiracy? Was Lenny Lane politically assassinated by similar sinister forces that done to same by bullet to Kennedy and by framing Richard Nixon. Funny, Howard Hunt was in Dallas in '63, and the Watergate Hotel in June 1972, and a customer in the Wheatland Inn on several occasions that summer. Hmmmmm?

Whatever the case … Phil, Sil & I had to go to Montreal to attend the Olympics and to find the translation for Lenny of the phrase “but then again.” It wasn’t until we accomplished that task that we returned and immediately sprung into action. We drew up the petition that you see in this week’s Curator’s Corner.



It reads: We the undersigned are concerned about the incident which occurred at the Wheatland on August 4, 1976 [NOTE: Okay so it didn’t happen before we went to Montreal but why ruin a good story}. We feel some mistakes were made that must be rectified. We recommend the following:
1) Lenny Lane apologize to all employees of the Wheatland and he apologize to any patron he owes one to
2) The Sweeper Man must not be silenced; Lenny Lane must be reinstated as piano player, philosopher and presidential candidate of the Wheatland.
We hope this predicament can be cleared up without delay or hard feelings
But then again – AGAIN!!!!!!

I signed in the John Hancock position (despite whatever threat Howard Hunt carried) and was followed by Steve Burke, Phil Martin and Mike Burke my co-mowers on the Columbia hills. Then by Veryl Lincoln, my dad Theo L. Knorr, the late great Gene Segro, 340 Clubbers (and fellow virtual Club bloggers) Sil Simpson & Phil Zangari, Tom Simpson, 340 Club resident James Lewis Shay,Mark Somebody, Barry Yoder, Ronald S. Metzger, Michael Showalter, 340 Clubber Tim Lutter, John & Ginny Kinard (aka Ma & Pa of Barn Door fame), John Shipman, Kirk Suydam, Mick Walton, unintelligible, Glenn C. Schneider, Kathie Hughes, David Marshall, David Zellers, Carl La Fong (note - some of these names may be fictional or not really who they appear to be), six folks named Lyne, Jim Kauffman (the great softball pitcher I believe), Brian Hiltz, Tom Stumpf & an intelligble Stumpf, John W. Lyons, Jack Lyons, Larry Miller, Jack Young, Tom Diller, Debbie Dougherty, unintelligble, Cliff Royer, Dale Witmer, unintelligible, Chip Snyder, Terri Pott, Rick Ulmer, Benny Vela, Joe Ganse, Skeet Carr, Sue Kiley, Tim Getzloff aka City L or Slick of 340, Doug Davis, Linda Garreth, John Walton, Roche Fitzgerald, Mike Conlin, the weatherman Bill Saylor, Dick Hoxworth (still on TV), Bob Scott, Vickie Heinley, June Walker, Barry Leed, Daryl Bish, six unintelligibles, Mary Gildea, unintelligible, Jack Booth, Patti King Ward, Borba Bhasin, John "Boat" Chever, Geoffrey Renshaw, Kevin Neary, Jere Bitzer, Tom Chever, Greg Lansing, ? Forney, unintelligible, Barry Hogan, unintelligible, L. Kozloskie, The Summ Brothers Flying Circus: Want, Gotta Have, Need; Susan Dutt, Richard Allen Y????, Mugzi Magic, guys named Steve, Carl, Ed, and Nancy, John Valori, Robert Sharkey, Dave Harnish, Rick Lewis ... at this point the petition was hijacked and someone started a counter petition to keep Lenny Lane out of Lancaster ... after three names sanity was restored and the signatures continued: Chuck Erisman, Michael Capp, Larry Stankowski, Millie Seifred, Becky Jones, Mike Walsh, Gerry Walsh, Ronald Harkins, Deborah Burk, Vicki Fisher, Mike ???, Doug ???, William Bull, Esquire(whom I would later engage as his oppenent in the courtroom), Mikey ???, Tom Lichty, Marilyn Lehman, Pete Douht, Jeanne Fisher, John Shelley, Curt Sensenich, unintelligible, Vaughn ???, Harry D. Bodine, Duggy Lopez II, Rod Geist, Vance Hines, Mary Jane Landis, Gloria Fetter, John Chancellor, Frank Sinatra, Richard Nixon, Jerry Harkins, Jill Hynman, Jack Hughes and last but crtainly not least Christopher E. Joyce, the poet laureate of the 340 Club. 138 valid signatures in all.

Lenny got his job back. However the damage to the campaign was done and he finished third in the race that year to Carter's 40.9 million votes and Gerald Ford's 39.1M. Lenny's 840,609 votes (recorded in most Almanacs as for "other" but we know) was enough to beat Eugene McCarthey's 700,000 votes to finish third. Oh what could have been but for an expectoration. But then again.

Trivia 33-40

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:

THIS WEEK'S QUESTIONS:

33. Who was our favorite waitress at the Wheatland Inn?
34. What high school classmate of Sil's and Phil's was a nephew of the Wheatland's owner?
35. Who were the two barmaids at the Wheatland? BONUS: which one did Lenny spit on causing his suspension and temporarily halting his 1976 Presdential campaign.
36. What was the sandwhich of choice at the Wheatland Inn?
37. Who was Al Trimble's "gofer" at the Wheatland? BONUS: what bit of Lenny's was he a crucial player in?
38. Where was the longest distance telephone call from that Lenny Lane ever received while playing the piano at the Wheatland?
39. What was the name of the Mt. Carmel born piano player, not quite the immortal genius of Lenny Lane, who provided a reasonable facsimile at Wildwood in the early eighties? TWO CLUES: he would "tickle your toes" and he is playing Lancaster this October 15-16 with 1pm shows at the Host Resort.
40. What was the name of Al Trimble's next bar after he sold the Wheatland Inn?

Last Week's Answers
29.)Who was our favorite waitress at the Village ? Bobbi

30.) What did Sil put on the ledge of the transom to his bedroom to keep uninvited guests out during 340 parties ? He put nails or tacks there so when they reached up they would stick themselves. Sil e-mailed me this,"I remember putting some nails in there, but my better defense was to lock the door from the inside and then climb out through the transom. That worked. "

31.)What did Bonnie Parker usually announce during her final set when the band played at the Village ? "There will be a 340 tonight". She then usually reminded people to "Get your 6-packs"

32.) Before locking your front door became mandatory in Lancaster, what two items were stolen most frequently from the W.King Street Clubs ? Cable boxes and empty beer kegs (For the $10 deposit)