Eels of Death

On October 2nd and 3rd,1982,a street hockey team composed mostly of 340 Clubbers descended upon the Bel Mont Sports Arena in Kittanning,Pennsylvania to play in a tournament with at least 36 cases of beer in tow according to Sports Information Director, Young Ted Knorr.
The team was called the "Eels of Death" with the mascot being a very real eel by the name of Jerry. Coach Don Kuhns took his charges and with some skillful manipulating aided by assistants Kenny Giltner and Woody Kleinhaus orchestrated a masterful tournament victory which included wins over a highly rated Canadian team and in the finals a team comprised of some Pittsburgh all-stars and Lancaster players that did not meet the Eel standards.

The team did not arrive home until late Sunday night and with work looming the next day a proper celebration could not be scheduled.

The 340 Club however had a vacancy of shenanigans the following weekend so a party was planned. Here are some pics from the gala event.


Kenny doing his thing and the Coach on his left.

Art Moshos,Coach,Sybil Z and Bobby Rife.

Bill Anderson and Tim Stoltzfus.

Alana and Karen on the Stairway to Heaven.

Kimmy and Terry Groff

Marty Hornberger

Phil and Kimmy.


Marty,Fus and Art.


Phil and Karen.

Desi at rest.

Woody,Johnny Johnson and Wild Bill Anderson

Woody and Bill.

Lancaster Pretty Ladies

In 1982, with the Zangari South APBA Baseball League enjoying its 5th season, Phil set up a Zangari South APBA Football League. Unlike the ZSABL which is currently in its 31st season, the ZSAFL lasted less than two years. Its only complete season – 1982 – proved to be rather zany.

Opening night produced an instant classic that portended a strange upcoming schedule. In the inaugural encounter, Sam Wickersham’s aptly named Cape Canaveral Space Cadets took on the Yalaha Yazz coached by Woody Kleinhaus. It couldn’t have been a greater clash or a worse game as Mike Haynes 3rd quarter tackle of Franco Harris in the end zone provided the Cadets with the games only points in a 2-0 win. The second contest found my Lancaster Pretty Ladies squad defeating Mick Walton’s Quebec City Quackers 40-20 in a game that served as a precursor of the only ZSAFL Super Bowl much later. Other interesting showdowns included the Brother Bowl(s) which found George Zangari’s Marakesh X-Press splitting two (41-24, 28-35) with his brother Jimmy’s Avondale Schrooms. A second Pretty Lady-Quacker showdown produced a closer score, 30-21, but the same result. Another showdown for my team came when the Ladies lost to my roomie, Phil’s Los Lobos de Arecibo, 24-17 in a game in which I lost the turnover battle 5 to zero. Not all games were classics but many were stirring such as the battle of street hockey defenseman – Woody and Mick – that occurred when the Yazz held the Quackers to a late 25 yard FG enroot to a 25-24 victory.

The regular season ended and four teams qualified for the playoffs. The only two winning records in the West: Lancaster (8-2) and Quebec City (6-4). Meanwhile a log jam – a three-way tie – in the East necessitated a look at the bylaws. Steve Graybill’s Jersey Js with a 6-4 record was eliminated by rulebook leaving the Marakesh X-Press (6-4) and Los Lobos (6-4)to move on.

In the first semi, played at Zangari South, Jan Stenerud’s 42 FG put Phil ahead 33-17 with 4:41 in the 3rd. At that point the Pretty Ladies “d” stood up and the offense had just enough with Nic Lowrey’s 29 FG with under a minute to go providing the 34-33 margin. The opposite bracket produced a third QCQ v Lancaster game, when the Quackers held on to a 37-31 win over M-kesh.

The Super Bowl was played at the 340 Club bar among typical pandemonium which gave me a sense of confidence. Games at 340 were usually wilder (not that games at the bar were ever tame) than elsewhere. One time the Yazz coach tossed a dice shaker through a window necessitating a replacement job by the X-press coach. The Pretty Lady fans had their signs out posing for the TV cameras and the fans were not disappointed by the Lancaster performance. Three first quarter TDs plus another score, a FG, gave the Fair Sex a 24-0 lead and an even greater sense of confidence. Never in doubt, the 41-24 triumph was my 3rd win over Mick and captured the 1st and only ZSAFL title.

NOTE: In 1992, when Billy Groff managed my Pittsburgh Crawfords to the ZSABL title, I became the only person to have both ZSABL and ZSAFL trophies in their den. Thank you Billy!

From the Mighty 340 Club Juke Box

The Golden Age of Music Television

By special request, here are two from the golden age of M TV:

If you were an M TV fan, you remember this one:


Apology, I could not find the video version.


Thank you Lynne for the request!

“a certain local residence”

On July 2, 1981 Dave Sturm published the results of the Intell Journal’s initial music maker’s poll which, of course, included the question: What is Lancaster County’s Best Nightclub? In that first poll, it was the suburban Old Colony with 9 (19%) nipping the City’s Village (8/17%). David K’s (6/13%) and the rustic Pequea Inn (5/10%) were next. As mentioned on this Blog earlier the 340 Club (4/8%) finished 5th which we spun as the 2nd most popular nightclub in the City!

Now, on May 20, 1982, it was time for the second such electoral contest. Again it was the young Sturm drawing the assignment. In ’81, 84 persons voted with only 48 bothering on the nightclub question. Now, in its second year fully 148 persons expressed an opinion with 84 noting their best nightclub choice. Further, complicating the 340 Club’s path to glory was the obvious ballot stuffing campaign carried out by the Village. Also working against the Club was the fact that our own rock start – the Randallion, Randy Brown, had gone AWOL. I forget where coulda been jail, coulda been the West Coast but he did leave the 340 after a short residential stay the previous August (was it the M TV?). In any case Randy aka Randall Stoltzfus had drawn some attention in the poll the prior year and may have caused 2 or 3 of the Club’s five votes.

Nonetheless, on the eve of a big McMorial Day weekend at the 340, when the polls closed it was a triumphant moment for the 340 Club. Sturm reported it thusly:

Lancaster County’s best nightclub: The Village polled 39 (46%) votes and beat last year’s winner, the Old Colony, which got eight (8/10%) this year. Also in the running were “a certain local residence”, the 340 Club (7/), David K’s and the Swan Hotel (5 each), the Lancaster Dispensing Company, Tom Paine’s Back Room, the Oaks and the Carpenter’s Inn (3 each), and the Pequea Inn, East of Eden, and “my living room” with two each.



Taken in composite, the 1981-82 Intelligencer Journal Music Maker polls rated Lancaster County’s Best Nightclubs as follows:

The Village Nite Club 47 (37%)
The Old Colony 17 (13%)
340 Club 11 (9%)
David K’s 11 (9%)
Pequea Inn 7
Lancaster Dispensing Company 6
Swan Hotel 5
Tom Paine’s Back Room 5
Carpenter’s Inn 3
The Oaks 3

This Date In 340 Club History

May 1, 1981 - known unabashedly as "May Day" ... another big party occurred on West King ... me and Phil, Randy, and John were just beginning our 3rd month of the Second Coming ... the juke box was starting its 2nd month ... M TV was still 90 days away ... come Sunday morning there was a $16.30 in the juke box

Heebee Jeebeez

Randy Brown, longtime 340 Club member and resident in 1981, brings his band – the HeeBee JeeBeez - to the American Bar & Grill this Saturday, May 3rd, and to The Shamrock, next Friday May 9th. I intend to make The Shamrock Show. The Heebee Jeebeez of course host an open mike night every week at the new bar in the old Zimmerman’s Restaurant at the corner of Queen & Orange. All three of those venues have no cover. Now, if you wait till June 7th to see the Randallion Cat that will cost you … as you likely know Randy is the DJ at the 2nd periodical 340 Club Reunion but there is a cover charge that evening. $20, pay Phil, in advance please.

Jack Canan, 66, Chief Planner City of Lancaster

While living at the 340 Club, I worked from October 1976 through the end of the second coming at Lancaster's City Hall. My supervisor was Norm Grinager (still at City Hall!). Norm's boss was John McCamant (rumored to be attending the 340 Club reunion next month). John's boss was Jack Canan. They are all three great men. Jack passed this week. John & Jack are in the Bar Room Athlete Hall of Fame (Dart Tossing Wing), as well as being first class beer drinkers, and joke tellers. They honed their storytelling to such a point where either one could shout out a number as in #7 or #45 and the other would break out laughing as they new which joke they would be referring to. I had the pleasure of going fishing with Jack on two occasions. At least that's what he called it "fishing". We went out in a boat in the Susquehanna River and drank beer all day.

Jack Morgan Canan of Rock Hall, Maryland died on April 28, 2008 at University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore, MD. He was 66.

He was born in Lancaster, PA on June 13, 1941 the son of the late Harry F. and Janet Medlar Canan. He graduated from McCaskey High School class of 1959 and Millersville State College in 1964.

On November 26, 1962 he married S. Louise Emmerich. Mr. Canan worked for the City of Lancaster from April 1960 starting as a planner; he worked his way up to Chief Planner, and was Director of the Department of Housing and Community Development when he left in January of 1990. Mr. Canan worked under Mayors Coe, Monaghan, Scott, Wohlsen, and Morris. He played key roles in many major projects during his employment with the city, among them was the establishment of the City's Historic District; the Walnut/ Chestnut Street extensions to Route 30; the TOPICS Program, which converted a number of City streets to one-way travel; the South Duke Street Lancaster Neighborhood Center; the Southern Market project, transforming the historic market house to offices for the Chamber of Commerce, Visitors Center, and City; the development of Park City Center, Lancaster County's largest regional shopping mall, located within the City of Lancaster; and the establishment of the City's tax abatement program for building renovations, commonly known as LERTA. Mr. Canan was a partner in the consulting firm of McCamant & Canan from 1991 until 1992, he moved to Kent County, Maryland in 1994.

In Kent County, he worked with the County Government for 11 years beginning in 1994 serving on numerous boards and commissions including being a founding member of the Local Management Board. He served as the Interim Economic Development Director and played an active role in the development of the Upper Shore Transit Development Plan. Mr. Canan was responsible for the creation and promotion of the County's Housing Improvement Plan which was responsible for improving the living conditions for over 100 families in Kent County. Most of all, Mr. Canan will be remembered for his unmitigated enthusiasm for providing frank advise to the County Commissioners, State Agencies, and local volunteer boards. He retired in July 1995 from Kent County Government and will also be remembered as an individual who cared deeply for Kent County and its citizens.

His interests were fishing, reading, computer games, chess, and most of all his family especially his grandchildren.

In addition to his wife he is survived by a son: Jack F. Canan and his wife Annette of Winchester, VA, a daughter: Lori A. Gray of Rock Hall, MD, grandchildren: Ann Marie Moss and Allan C. Moss of Sudlersville, MD, Kobey A. Lewis of Rock Hall, MD, and Maria C. Canan of Winchester, VA, great grandchildren: Mariah A. Alexander, Andrew Alexander, and Zacharey A. Moss.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 2:00 PM at Fellows, Helfenbein, and Newnam Funeral Home 130 Speer Road Chestertown, MD where relatives and friends may call two hours prior to the service (12-2). Interment will be private. In lieu of flowers contributions may be made to the Kidney Foundation 1107 Kenilworth Drive Suite 202 Baltimore, MD 21204. Arrangements by Fellows, Helfenbein, and Newnam Funeral Home Chestertown, MD www.fhnfuneralhome.com

(If it is Wednesday it must be time for) From the Poet Laureate

Thoughts and feelings racing through the mind,
Gradually they merge and either cause a revelation,
Or an explosion.
Musical lyrics open new channels of thought,
With convincing melodies to carry the messages,
Voices in the sky.
They are an expression that creates a look into an open ended channel that has countless programs.
After the music always comes silence; but to understand the silence more than the music means you are in a new channel, which has no programs but is endless.

Christopher E. Joyce

340 Club Reunion Interim Fiscal Report

I know you know this but I want to reiterate here … the virtual 340 Club and the Reunion are a labor of love … they are to the degree possible, at our middle age, about Beer & Rock ‘n Roll (i.e. what used to be drugs, sex, and rock ‘n roll) …. However there is a little matter of dollars and cents that will help carry out this affair and carry it out until the future when Sil & John are the only two standing. To that end, here is the current fiscal state:

 

CURRENT

Tickets Sold      13

Guests              3 (Mayor Morris, Father Hahn accepted)

Attendees         16

Cost                 $1,300

Deficit              $400

 

EXPECTED

Tickets Sold      50 (Phil’s guess)

Guests              9 (Mayor Morris, Father Hahn accepted; G.H.Kratzert, Dave Sturm, Bot Roda invited)

Attendees         59

Cost                 $1,900

Surplus             $3 (invested in 2009 340 Club Reunion)

 

If you know of a business that has a connection to the 340 Club and might want to purchase a quarter page ad in the program … sell one for $25 and you will receive a $5 discount off your ticket. Just let Phil or I know.

340 Club Residential Roster

In order to help you keep track. The following 16 individuals lived at the 340 Club:

The 328 Club, landlord Harold Martin, was founded on September 21, 1974.
Tim Lutter (9/74-5/75)
Tee Knorr (9/74-8/74)
Dan Joyce (9/74-5/75)
Sil Simpson (9/74-8/75)
Tim Getzloff (9/74-8/75)
Dick Lichty (special guest)

The 340 Club, landlord George H. Kratzert, was discovered in early August 1975
Sil Simpson (8/75-5/78)
Tee Knorr (8/75-9/78)
Jimmy Shay (8/75-10/76)
Phil Zangari(10/75-11/78)
Chris Joyce (1/77-6/77)
Dave Petkosh (10/77-1/78)
Mitch Herr (3/78-8/78)
Kenny Giltner (5/78-7/78)
Dean Staherski (11/78)

The evacuation of the 340 Club ocurred in late Fall 1978.

The second coming of the 340 Club happened in late February 1981
Tee Knorr (2/81-3/83)
Phil Zangari (2/81-3/83)
Randy Brown (2/81-8/81)
John Emswiler (2/81-3/83)
Sue Krimmel Emswiler (5/81?-3/83)
Sil Simpson (9/81-3/83)

The Final Days, now at the 338 Club also a G.H. Kratzert property, began in April 1983
Tee Knorr (4/83-6/84)
Phil Zangari (4/83-11/83)
John Emswiler (4/83-2/84)
Sue Krimmel Emswiler (4/83-2/84)
Sil Simpson (4/83-6/84)

The final evacuation, by helicopter, off the 338 Club roof took place on June 30, 1984 ending an almost ten year occupation of the 300 block of West King Street by the forces of good clean fun. It is no embellishment to say times have never been the same since. UNTIL NOW ...

The virtual 340 Club opened on December 4, 1977.

The emboldened names are expected to attend the reunion. Others still possible. In addition about 50 or so other assorted nuts are expected.

Welcome Coach!

and then there were seven ...

Don "Coach" Kuhns becomes the 7th member of the virtual Club, and most distant being in California, and the first to represent the heart and soul of the Club, representing the usual gang of idiots, the teaming masses. For the 16 of us who lived there it was one type of experience but for the hundreds who partied there it was a different experience and no less important. In fact, I have always felt more important ... it was guys like Coach, Woody, Sam, George, Super Sports Scotty, Jose, Jimmy, Marty, JJ, ZSABLers, Chestnut Street players, Biker Rober(t), Rify, Tex, Brian, the Bonnie Parker Band, Batman, Robin, 94 patrons at last call of the Village, not too mention Sybil, Sheryl and weekend warriorettes such as Beth Ann, Sissy, Suzanne, Tracy, Diana, Dawn, Rozy, various strippers, bartenders and maids, and on and on.

Coach is the first to represent those 340 Club members. Welcome, welcome. We look forward to your posts and to seeing you in June!

Welcome Dave!

Dave Petkosh lived at the 340 Club from late summer 1977 through the turn of the next year; holding down the room at the top of the stairs in between the tenures of Chris Joyce and Mitch Herr. As you hopefully have noticed DaveP has now become the 6th member, counting the Keg Man, of the virtual 340 Club. I expect Don "Coach" Kuhns to sign up in the very near future and hopefully John & Sue Emswiler will figure it out shortly also. The more the merrier.

I look forward to reading Dave and Don's remembrances and/or commentary. If anyone is interested in posting herein simply ask me, Phil or the 340 Club Keg Man if you ever find him when he is coherent.

Scotty & Tee at the Movies

Naturally, being a Stones fan, I wanted to see their movie “Lets Spend the Night Together” documenting their 1981 tour. So one day shortly after it appeared in Lancaster, at one of those North Queen Street relatively short-lived (particularly when compared with the marvelous Boyd, Capitol, and Grand) movie houses – the Pacific Twin, I think, Scotty Myers, longstanding and as active as any 340 Club member, and I walked to the theatre stopping at Johnny’s to get a good price on a couple of six packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. I mean we were going to a Stones concert. The theatre folks were lucky we didn’t bring reefer and lawn chairs and a food spread. It was a rock ‘n roll show.

Not to cause an undue commotion we sat in the very back row. Not too long after that a young couple made a similar choice in an almost empty theatre. The key word being choice … I mean the theatre was theirs to pick from and they sit two rows in front of us – a longhair and a guy in a Stones t-shirt with a new bright red M TV jacket draped over the seat. Both of us with a feet propped up or over the seats directly behind them and, yet, and it’s a free country, they pick those seats. Hey, hey, please, please, get offa my cloud. Well, as I recall that tour opened with “Under My Thumb” and as Mick started into the chorus we popped our first 16 pounders and commenced to rock. “Yeah, Mick!”, “Rock ‘n Roll”, “THREE FORTY!” we may have shouted. This was a rock concert.

Soon, the male (sic) half of the couple got up and came back with the law. Well, with an usher. Scotty and I were given a choice. Put away the beer or leave. Well, we put away the last few oh zees of the first cans and retired the remaining ten cans until after the show and enjoyed, as best one can in classroom-like conditions, an excellent film of a rock concert. For the life of me I can’t understand why that couple was even there since they certainly had no idea of what a rock concert was. They must have been foreign film fans cuz the idea of “Its only Rock ‘n Roll (but I like it)” was clearly foreign to them.

Scotty and I let them alone, enjoyed the flic and retired to 340 to consume those warm Pabst pounders but we liked it!!!

Breaking News - Tee Shirts

While the deal has not been finalized negotiations are underway with a member of the 340 Club family to provide new and improved 340 Club tee shirts for sale at the reunion. Here are the details:

White Tee Shirts, with Black Drawings of the 340 Club Keg Man
Sizes: S. M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL
Cost: $10 each

Please order now & often. Let Phil, I, or this Blog know.

Curator's Corner: Cards, Buttons (2)

The 340 Club cards are in and at Phil’s. Call him, drop by or visit the 7th Ward G Club. Purchase soon. He only has 47 left.








The button prototypes have been produced and will be available at the reunion.

This one is free to the first 49 who purchase tickets:




This one will be available for $3 or 2 for $5













Still under construction is the souvenir program, the PowerPoint presentation and the archival displays. Also the record list is being developed; please submit requests to this site. Thank you.

Trivia: 85-90

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:

This Week’s 340 Club Trivia Questions:
SOME TRUE & FALSE QUESTIONS FOR YA
85 Someone actually retained his virginity after living at 340
86 Someone who left 340 with seemingly all his faculties later became a street person
87 Harold the fuck Martin is still alive
88 George H. Kratzert graduated from Mountville H.S., prior to Hempfield being consolidated.
89 According to the composite (1981-82) Intelligencer Journal poll, the 340 Club was the 5th most popular nightclub in Lancaster County
90 Mr. Kratzert owns Lancaster Storage even to this very day

Last Week’s Q & A's
82) On the back of the original 340 membership card, how much money did it say you would need, with the card, to get a cup of coffee at McCrory's? 39 cents

83) Phil worked in the bar/restaurant business most of his life but who was he employed by when he entered the 340 realm in October, 1975 until August, 1977? Royster Chemical Farm Products

84) What did Sil use to "cook" a Slim Jim, back before he was vegan, at one of the early APBA conventions in Philly? a Butane lighter