Good Neighbors

July 19th – For some reason, Mrs. Betty Garman – owner/landlord of 342-344 West King Street – was complaining to our landlord Mr. Kratzert about us. Apparently, she contended that our behavior at 340 made it difficult for her to rent 342-344. Always trying to be helpful I sent the following memo to our neighbors on West King Street:

To: Our Neighbors on West King Street
From: Ted, Phil, and Randy at 340 West King Street
Subject: Noise

It has come to our attention recently that our stereo may be a little loud and, therefore, causing a disturbance. In order to aid us in finding an acceptable level of sound; please call us at 397-2228 whenever the noise level is such that it disturbs you.



July 20th – I penned a quick note - with the July 19th memo attached - to Ms. Garman saying: Allow me to apologize if our behavior at 340 West King Street has caused you to lose any prospective tenants at 342. We had no idea we were detrimental to your purposes but then maybe we are all a little blind in self-inspection. Hopefully, the attached memo (distributed yesterday) will aid in our becoming better neighbors. If you have any further problems, we would like to hear about them. Frankly, since February, we have received only two complaints from neighbors and I guess we took the lack of complaints as a license to play our stereo at high volumes. Sincerely, Ted P. Knorr



July 22nd – Mr. Kratzert entered into the extremely tense diplomatic negotiations with his own letter to the terrible trio (i.e. me, Phil & Randy) that read as follows:

Mrs. Garman claims that she is unable to rent her apartments because of the excessive noise music and noise levels coming from 340 West King Street, namely this occurs at nighttime and over the weekend. I understand also that within the last week there was some sort of fight or brawl in which the back part of the fence was broken down, I would like to have this repaired by you people or either forward me a check for $100 so that I can make arrangements to have it repaired. Ted indicated that he will be sending a note to all the neighbors indicating that if the sound gets out of control for any reason, they are to call his number and report it and they will make some changes. I would appreciate it if you people would make every effort to conform to the normal standards of a neighbor in that you are not interfering with the rights of other people in the neighborhood. I am sure that you all are aware that there is a noise ordinance in the city as well as the possibility of being prosecuted under simple disturbance of the peace. I certainly hope it does not come to this point and that you people will make a serious effort to live within generally accepted standards.

Very truly yours,
George H. Kratzert



July 24th – I sent George the monthly rent with the following note: Dear George: Enclosed please find a check for $250 covering August rent. We, at 340, just made it through a peaceful and quiet week … and we survived. Frankly, I don’t think we’ve been too loud in the past anyway but maybe we have a few noise sensitive neighbors. If so, then our memo (see enclosed memo) should aid in pleasing them because we always have been responsive to the wishes of the minority. Our philosophy at 340 can be summed up in three words, we believe in the “unilateral, singular, veto” where the rights of one supersede the rights of the majority. Clearly we believe, and feel a majority of the neighborhood does, that our noise level has not been offensive; however, we stand ready to attempt to please any neighbor as best we can. Hopefully, you, Mrs. Garman, or I will hear no more complaints about noise.

As for the fence, I know nothing about it. However, given proper materials we could fix it. In fact, we look forward to it being repaired. The yard is always kept clean from debris. The vegetation will be kept at a decent length by our neighbor (your other tenant) John LeMarre.

I hope I have addressed all issues raised.

Sincerely,
Theodore P. Knorr

P.S. How much do you want for 338-340?



July 25th – to prevent Mrs. Garman from any future French Conniptions the following form letter was created for us to give to particularly loud 340 guests. To the best of my knowledge only one person ever received such citation and he offered to turn in this 340 Club card. As for life on West King Street; it continued unabated as always. Our neighbors loved us.

Dear (fill in the blank)

Your conduct at the 340 Club, (fill in date), was unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Your actions have resulted in our suspending you for a period of (fill in length of suspension) effective (fill in date).

In the future, please remember to treat the 340 Club as you would have us treat your home and you would not (fill in description of unacceptable conduct) in your home.

Please do not make us repeat such action.

Sincerely,

Jumpin' Jack Flash

Taking a momentary break from the juke --- although this 45 was on it --- here, from Martin Scorsese's instant classic "Shine A Light" is Jumpin' Jack Flash

Music Makers Poll

Sometime in June, the Intelligencer Journal assigned their ace investigative reporter, David Sturm, to conduct the “Music Makers Poll” which was an ambitious survey seeking to determine Lancaster Countians opinion’s on the world’s best band, best album, best radio station, the County’s best band, and – alas – the county’s best night club. The paper promised the poll would be used, among other things, to point the paper in the right trendy direction. The results were to be published in early summer.

Sure enough as we went to work on Thursday morning, right before a big holiday weekend at the 340 Club, the results appeared on the papers prominent back page. Here are some of the results:

World’s Best Band: Rolling Stones (Jagger at 38 reigned supreme; today at 65 he is still tops among the boomers) with 15 votes; The Who 8; Beatles 6; The Clash 5; Abba, Bruce Springsteen, Led Zeppelin all scored 4; AC/DC, Fleetwood Mac, and Yes weighed in with 3 while Pink Floyd had two votes. The following bands all got a vote: Genesis, Foreigner, Allman Brothers, Doobie Brothers, Lynrd Skynrd, XTC, The Cars, Utopia, Kansas, Ian Drury and the Blockheads, Tangerine Dream, Queen, Scorpions, Styx, Steely Dan, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and – last but certainly not least – Randall Stoltzfus.

America’s Best Band: Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band, 15; Styx, 10; The Eagles, REO Speedwagon, 5; The Doors, 4; The Grateful Dead, Talking Heads, 3: .38 Special, Neil Young, Todd Rundgren/Utopia, Boston and Steely Dan, 2; Supertramp, AC/DC (?), Fleetwood Mac, Blondie, George Thorogood and the Destroyers, J. Geils Band, Jefferson Starship, Beach Boys, Alice Cooper, Hall & Oates, Cars, NRBQ, Devo, Chicago, Aerosmith, Heart, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Truth, Van Halen, Foreigner (?), Marshall Tucker Band, Pretenders, Ramones, Blue Oyster Cult, the Sharks and Randy Stoltzfus.

Britain’s Best Band: The Clash, 18; Rolling Stones, The Who, 17; Queen, 4; Beatles, Yes, 3;
The Kinks, Wings, Pink Floyd, Moody Blues, Led Zeppelin, 2; Genesis, Gang of Four, Elvis Costello, Police, XTC, Rumour, Fleetwood Mac, Hawkwind, Supertramp, Bad Company, Jethro Tull and Randall Stoltzfus.

Lancaster County’s Best Band: The Sharks, 25; West Philly Speedboys, 7; Susquehanna River Band, 6; Hunter, 5; Blame, 4; Justus, Randall Stoltzfus, 2

The above four questions make me wonder aloud - Who is Randall Stoltzfus? Lastly, there was a question on what was Lancaster County’s best night club? Old Colony, 9; The Village, 8; David K’s, 6; Pequea Inn, 5; 340 Club, 4; Tom Paine’s Back Room, The Treadway, The Library, 2; Your Place, Scruples, John’s Bar, Rasputin’s, Maxwell’s, Indian Springs, and the Young Republican’s, 1.

Other questions sought the most exciting performer: The Boss whipped Mick, 23 to 5 with Sam Lugar and Randall Stoltzfus getting one vote each. Randall Stoltzfus got one vote in the dance band category. The curious Mr. Stoltzfus got one vote for sexiest performer.

So, there it was the 340 Club’s bonafides were now firmly established for 1981 by the vote of the people. By the way, Randall Stoltzfus, who got at least one vote in seven different categories, turned out to be the 340 Club’s very own Randy Brown.

From the Poet Laureate

Passing through the deepest sleep and waking with a start
Thinking but not breathing as you find you've stopped you're heart
Slowly the feeling of dizziness escapes your bodies ties
You find your somewhere when your not and then begin to rise

Christopher E. Joyce

Rolling Stones Martin Scorsese Shine A Light/The Soundtrack CD

Available today … buy the deluxe version … cost me $21.19, tax included. The album is the soundtrack for the pending Martin Scorsese docu-concert that debuts nationwide this Friday (I’ll see it Saturday). The flic chronicles a couple of Stones shows on their A Bigger Bang Tour (06-07). When you pop the CD in here is what you hear:

Same ol’ same ol’ but what kind of same ol’ same ol’; gimmee it over agin and agin … JUMPIN’ JACK FLASH is the opener and how many different ways can you present it … as you listen you’ll notice it is slick; it is highly produced, unlike any live album I ever heard … you wouldn’t expect less from the new Glimmer Twins – Scorsese & Jagger … actually production credits go to the old Glimmer Twins – Keith & Mick; with Co-Production (i.e. the heavy lifting) to Bob Clearmountain.

Listening to JJF and perusing the songlist one realizes that the biggies – Sympathy, Start Me Up, Brown Sugar, and Satisfaction - will sound all too familiar … however such expectations only whet the appetite for the many nuggets that the songlist contains and it doesn’t take long as Keith (or Ronnie how would I know) hits the opening chords of SHATTERED … followed by SHE WAS HOT (captured live for the first time I think) … then the oft Theotis Christ covered ALL DOWN THE LINE … like Bitch; this is a perfect showcase for the sax man Bobby Keys … next Mick reaches into the modern alternative rock crop and pulls Detroit guitarist Jack White III to duet with him on LOVING CUP … deftly moving into the melancholy AS TEARS GO BY and then the four guitar (inc. Mick, at least when I’ve seen them perform it) SOME GIRLS (sadly politically corrected best I can tell/hear) … Mick keeps the breastplate for the next song, a classic Motown cover, JUST MY IMAGINATION … FARAWAY EYES …. A Muddy Waters cum Buddy Guy blues tune called CHAMPAGNE & REEFER … Guy plays his mean Chicago blues guitar and sings …when inducted into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, Guy gave the following acceptance speech: “If you don’t think you have the blues, just keep living.” … the Stones wrap up the halfway point with TUMBLING DICE … and then Mick introduces the band beginning with his longstanding backup singer – over twenty years now! – the leggy Lisa Fischer … culminating with his longer standing guitar player – Keef – who does two for the good of the order …YOU’VE GOT THE SILVER and, with a nod to the Winos, CONNECTION… Whew! And that’s jes disk one!!!

Disk Two opens with the satanic masterpiece, perhaps most creative, darkest lyrics > please allow me to introduce myself … SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL … blood curdling, goose bump raising … “Anastasia screamed in VAIN” … Ronnie & Keef dueling … if there is a Stones formula, a hook, it is a driving guitar lick followed by a Phil Spector-like wall of sound and few songs exemplify the sound better than LIVE WITH ME which is a nod to themselves for it appears first on a live album, on the live album of live album’s (perhaps up to this one), called Get Yer Ya Ya’s Out (1969) … this version Mick duets with a resounding (though no Lisa) Christina Aguilera and Bobby Keys is once again left unrestrained … no sooner does the dust settle when another guitar more familiar guitar lick is struck … START ME UP … the old lid lifter which in recent years signals the beginning of the end launching a 30 minute windup of rockers that culminates in Satisfaction or JJF … but always includes BROWN SUGAR (more pure Bobby Keys) … just a quick liner note: Keys has performed with the Stones since their first Amerikan tour over 40 years ago … the finale, of course, is the anthem Jagger did not want to still be singing at thirty (he’ll be 65 in June) … SATISFACTION … unlike the finale of a concert … there is more (at least on the soundtrack; as four of the soundtrack’s songs do not appear in the movie) … after Satisfaction comes: PAINT IT BLACK, LITTLE T & A (a 3rd Keith vehicle!!!, even more horns - Ya Ya), I’M FREE and the title song: SHINE A LIGHT … Scorsese, I don’t believe, has never made a movie without a Stones song and, to hear Jagger describe it, “this is the first movie Mary ever made without Gimmee Shelter in it.” Well, as much as I love Ms. Fischer on that song; I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t miss it on the soundtrack; I look forward to the movie and hope I don’t miss it there also … although, if I do maybe there will be a sequel.

The Third Coming

After six months of negotiations with the current owners and lessors of 338-340 West King Street, I am now pleased to announce that there will be an after party immediately following the end of the reunion on June 7th at the Knights of Columbus. It won’t be cheap as it has already cost me in excess of $2,000 to obtain the necessary rights, permits and permissions but … $100 will gain you entrance into the 340 Club itself before midnight (no admittance after 12) on June 7/8, Tickets will be limited to the first 40 persons and are expected to sell out fast. A beer toast will occur just after midnight offered by the 340 Kegman. The 340 Club Bear will jump from the 3rd floor window at 1:00 a.m. Lancaster City Police will have the 300 block of West King Street closed to vehicular traffic between midnight and 3:00 a.m. I have obtained permission for guests – must show tickets to the attendant – to park in the Christ Lutheran Church lot on the corner. Both Mr. Martin and Mr. Kratzert, landlords, of 328 and 338-340, are expected to attend. I hope to see all of you there; get your tickets now. [Oh, and Coach: don’t bother sending a check … you will be my guest. I gotcha covered)

This Date in 340 Club History

On March 31, 1983, G.H. Kratzert offered us - what turned out to be - the last lease at 338 West King Street. It was signed by Mr. Kratzert, myself and Phil. The term was set for 15 months and included a rider which included an option to purchase by Phil & I under certain specified condiditons.

Trivia: 71-73

There will be some trivia questions posed at the reunion in June. To help you prep for such an event from time to time questions will be posed here in the Blog so you can revive some old memories and rev up your response time. To that end here are a few questions:

71. What was the phone number of the 340 Club, second coming? BONUS: What 340 Club irregular was responsible for procuring the unique cubing combination?
72. What food staple, served best by Bobbie, is no longer sold at The Village Nite Club?
73. What brand and model is the mighty 340 Club juke?

Last Week’s Questions
66. In Somers Point, NJ, there was a bar named "The Anchorage" where we "warmed" up for the Bonnie Parker Band who played just a stone’s throw from there at the Dunes Till Dawn. How many beers did you get for a dollar ($1) at the Anchorage? It was seven draft beers for a dollar. They put them all in front of you at the same time
67. Sil has been called Sil since his high school days but what is his birth name?
William Roger Simpson
68. Sil campaigned to have a museum constructed in Lancaster to honor what legendary comedy trio? The Three Stooges
69. What was the name of our neighbor at 338 during 340 I, who liked to strum his guitar on the back porch? Kevin Walsh
70. What was the nickname of 340 member Scott Myers? Scotty Super Sports Sunday.

Latest from Rudy

Latest from Rudy Valentino's MySpace page -


Been livin Music since I can remember...still travelin to where ever the Music takes me... Have met and interacted with a lot of interesting, great and not so great people... Been blessed to perform, write and produce with some very talented and special artists... I’m currently traveling around Europe with my beautiful, talented wife while she does her thing, singing and dancing in Musicals. It’s a far cry from Reggae or Rock but interesting none the less...Art is art, some is great and much of it sucks, but hell, that’s just my opinion...As i write this we are in beautiful Zurich, Switzerland...man, the chocolate is really good here!! I’ve also been blessed to have two beautiful children. Both witty and smart...you can check them out in my friends...Ru-ster and Go D Go....my son Dan is killin em with his band HorseShoes n Hand Grenades..check em out...my daughter Rudie, she’s in school workin her ass off, just one of the coolest people I know... To my Musical credit I’m still kikn around...you can check out TESSANNE CHIN. I’m very proud of our relationship and the Music that has spawned from it, she continues to be an inspiration and world talent. The Music we make together is some of my proudest stuff. You can see me this year, 2008, runnin around America with my boys FEAR NUTTIN BAND. Great friends that make some of the coolest unique Music north of Kingston, Jamaica, my home town...not really, I’m from Rochester NY where my boy Ron Stackman continues to make great Music at Big Lawn... and even though I reside in Hamburg, Germany, I consider Jamaica my home....sunshine, natural food, beautiful beaches, herb and when you’re in country and at one with Jah you feel Peace like no place else, at least for me that is.... Peace, funny word these days with many meanings....A lot like the word Freedom, doesnt seem to have the same definition as it used to.... Stefan Zweig wrote... Peace is not a thing of weakness, It calls for heroism and action. Day by day you must wrest it from the mouths of liars. You must stand alone against the multitude, for clamor is always on the side of the many, and the liar has ever the first word. The meek must be strong.

The List: 1981 (Part 1)

Sixty-seven young women entered 1981 with me on their list. As I implied earlier I’ve always refered to 1981 as the “Summer of Love.” Admittedly making love, especially in my case, was a very poor euphemism for engaging in sexual intercourse but I don’t think those 100,000 hippies in ’67 were any more authentic in their summer of “making love, not war.” In any case and for what its worth, I present the list for the first half of 1981:

#69 was certainly risky business cuz she dated one of my superiors at City Hall; #71 stood out due to her age which I would estimate as, maybe, 49 … I was just with her brother – now 70 – in Lancaster last weekend … she lived in Brooklyn when I knew her and has now returned to her roots in the south; #72 is memorable because of the way Woody Kleinhaus described the way me and her looked – to him at least – upon seeing us sitting on the couch when he entered early one morning, we were holding hands and her beautiful ebony complexion, in contrast to my fingers caused him to comment – “I thought I was looking at piano keys”; #73 was the daughter of an Olympic immortal; #74 was The Rose (more in a future post); interestingly #75 was treated to her requisite foreplay at Sleepy Hollow, legendary home of Brian Smith; #76 was the sister of an ABA/NBA All-Star (more in a future post).

So, as we made the pivot of the year at the 340 Club I was halfway through my personal Summer of Love.

340 Club Reunion - 10 weeks out

Okay, gang … we are in the stretch run. The Reunion is only 70 days away. Here is the game plan:

June 6, 2008 – Bridgeport Bluefish visit Clipper Stadium to take on the home standing Lancaster Barnstormers in an Atlantic League baseball game. It is Scout Night and the first 2500 fans will get free Barnstormer visors courtesy of Central Penn Nursing. Tickets are $27 for the picnic/game or for game only $6, $9, and $11 with a dollar discount if purchased early.

June 7, 2008 – Reunion @ Knights of Columbus, 7:00 p.m., Tickets are $20. Here is the lineup for the biggest party in Lancaster since the fall of 1983:

Welcome by Young Ted Knorr, Emcee
Invocation by the Reverend Peter I. Hahn, Pastor, St. Peter’s, Columbia, PA
Moment of Silence for Departed 340 Club Members by Phil Zangari, Captain & Asst. Emcee
Keynote Komments offered by Mayor Arthur E. Morris (invited but not confirmed)
Other Komments for Good of the Order
New Poem from the Poet Laureate, Christopher E. Joyce (tentative)
From the Mighty 340 Club Juke Box, DJ Randy Brown

Features: free beer & munchies, dancing, raffles, new “official” 340 Club cards, commemorative souvenir program, souvenir button and more; additional buttons and tee shirts will be available, a PowerPoint Presentation & Archival 340 Club Exhibits will be on display.

Juke Box Lens: McMorial Day through July 31st at Midnight

The record set at the McMorial Day affair lasted for almost 6 weeks until the nation celebrated its 205th birthday and the 340 Club celebrated 7 years – albeit interrupted – on West King Street. On Friday, July 3rd, we had a major party that found the juke’s coffers overflowing with $20.17 (12:06). This record stood for just over a week; the next one - set July 11th - stands to this day. After the Friday night blowout (NOTE: to get to 12 hours it had to be non-stop music … remember it was a Friday, I worked till 5… the juke box had to either begin to rock at 4 and continue non-stop till 4 or begin earlier; no matter how you sliced it this was a bonafide 340) it is understandable if we were somewhat calm on Independence Day … perhaps we slept till Sunday or spent the holiday with our families. Or simply gave the juke a rest.

After such rest, the gang and the juke woke up on July 11th full of vim & vigor. It was a big big day. For July 11, 1981 was F.A.D.! Just as most baseball teams reward their fans with a special day at the end of the season, Phil & I thought that having a Fan Appreciation Day would be a good idea. Phil and I took $35.52 ($72 in 2008 dollars) from the juke box revenues and bought a ½ keg of Pabst, some potato chips and I forget and invited the usual gang of idiots to a 340 where they managed somehow, I truly can’t fathom, to jam $20.40 into the juke box. Since this is the last such record ever sent; permit me to provide some perspective. Humans sleep eight hours a day leaving 16 hours each day to fill with writing a novel, reading the newspaper, saving the world or playing juke box music. Well, on F.A.D. the mighty 340 Club juke box was playing rock ‘n roll for 12 hours and 15 minutes or 77% of those 16 waking hours. I guess that explains why none of us saved the world that day.

To summarize, in the 121 days between April 3rd (i.e. Opening Day) and August 1st the juke box had taken in $478.22 or $3.95 per day. This meant that, on average, the juke box had played for 2:22 daily. That is 10% of each day. In total, of that 17 week mad period; the mighty 340 Club juke box had played for almost 12 full days! If I could sum up the 340 Club experience in one statistic that just might be the one.

However, while no one saw it coming the clock was literally about to strike midnight for the mighty 340 Club juke box.

From the Mighty 340 Juke Box

At the reunion all songs played will come from the 340 juke and are scheduled to be spun by none other than the one and only front men of the current hip group starring every Wednesday at the former Zimmerman's Resturaunt and 340 Club resident/member Randy Brown. Tonight I present several versions of a unique British invasion hit:

Happy Birthday Mitch!!!!!!!!

340 Club resident and member Mitch Herr is 56 today! Saw him at the Sharks last Saturday and he remains as constant as the speed of light. Hopefully he will find a way through his busy schedule to make it to the reunion on June 7th at the Knights. God bless you Mitchell! Many more Crazee!

The Summer of Love

Ask most Americans where in the Time-Space Continuum one would find the Summer of Love and most folks my age or older will quickly say 1967/Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco, CA where an unprecedented gathering of as many as 100,000 young people converged to create a phenomenon of cultural and political rebellion. For me, it came a little later on the Time axis and about 3,000 miles further east on the geographic line at the time/space crossroad of 1967/340 Club, Lancaster, PA.

Was Tee the Bi-Polar One?

When the second coming became a reality I presented Phil, Randy & John with copies of the landlord’s critical 1978 letter, pertinent parts of the City’s reactionary (to the first 340 Club) noise ordinance and basically endeavored to set a tone of behavior befitting a 30 year old City official (me) and his roommates.

By the next month I was back to fomenting parties, carousing, and chasing skirts. Then the juke box entered the picture and the decibels were ramped up even further. With the juke box a fixture, the next venture was the 340 Club card. After Phil & I designed the cards I went to Barlain Printing on May 26th to order them. I gave him the prototype, opted for round cornered cards, selected buff as the color, and proceeded to order and pay for 100 cards. $22.65 for 100 cards, $9.00 to set type and $1.90 in tax for a total cost of $33.55.

The very next day I had flipped again as I sent a message to not only Phil, Randy and John but other members. In this missal, I riled against two items: 1) debris in common areas, clutter/filth in refrigerator, sticky kitchen floor, filthy carpet, bastards spending the night, trash buildup, kitchen/bathroom crud, mother fuckers knocking on the door 24/7, extreme noise and et cetera; and 2) rock ‘n roll (sic) rehearsals in the basement (Quote: “This does not mean we can’t have a party with a live band, but it means I do not want daily; semi-daily, or even weekend only practice of rock ‘n roll (sic) in my house.”).

The next day my mood swung back as the 340 Club cards were ready and picked up. Now, with the juke and now membership cards in place, using the caricature drawn by artist Bot Roda, about 80 or so 340 Club tee shirts were ordered.

Juke Box Lens: 5/2-24/81

As previously noted, the 340 Club, on any given weekend night, was either a raucous party (50%) or a very raucous party (50%) . [NOTE: Between the juke’s debut April 3rd and McMorial Day, there were seven weekend nights with 6 or more hours of juke box playing; 7 with less than that and two spent in Leominster, MA]. McMemorial Day weekend was early that year and two extraordinary juke box nights were enjoyed – Friday ($12.30) was a big night but Saturday saw another record set with $18.10 in the juke box. That represented almost 11 hours of paid music. I must point out that there was a freebie button that Phil & I never hesitated to hit when the spirit moved us. If the party ended at 4 am, it must have had its early moments before five o’clock. Of the ten year period of occupation on West King Street; for me this period (Spring/Summer 1981) is the pinnacle. In fact, while we weren’t quite there yet, the precise pinnacle was fast approaching.

Thunderbird Motor Lodge

The tournament was over. We were packing the vehicles in the caravan. A younger team, also from Lancaster, was scandalously prancing around in the parking lot. Me – and my roommates Coach, young Chuckie Dailey, and maybe the Gilt – were still engaged in partying. The atmosphere was festive and, despite the earlier than desired elimination of the team, spirits were up and other spirits were being consumed. For some reason (maybe the rising of the sun?) I took it upon myself, egged on by young Master Dailey and surely Kenny, to destroy the desk that was in my room. You know the desk that is in between the two beds where the phone, the lamp, and the Gideon Bible can be found. I threw it, struck it, broke it, hammered it. Again, why? I dunno. I was 30 years old and not drunk; perhaps severely altered. In any case I continued until there were no pieces of the cheap balsa wood materials bigger than a couple of inches. It was destroyed.

Now, the second part of the fun began … reconstruction. I put it all back together. Now it wouldn’t hold a feather beyond the phone, the lamp and the Gideon Bible but it held those and to all appearances it was like new. Of course as soon as we departed and a maid applied a duster it certainly collapsed like a house of cards. No, there were no pieces as large as a playing card. The demolition might have been immature; the reconstruction was a master piece.

We headed home.

APOLOGY AND REPARATIONS

On Tuesday, May 12, 1981, after Phil, the Captain, received a phone call from the Thunderbird Motor Lodge I began to repair relations with Phil and the street hockey team which I had disgraced. It was pretty tuff to disgrace that motley crew but I had managed to accomplish the task.

I wrote the following letter to the Thunderbird:

Dear Sir:

I wish to apologize on behalf of myself and my two companions for our behavior on May 9, 1981 which resulted in the demolition of a desk. Enclosed please find a money order in the amount of $60 as partial payment for damages to the desk. I will attempt to have the balance paid off in a timely fashion.

Sincerely,

Ted Knorr

cc: Don Kuhns, Chuck Dailey

Don Kuhns was coach and other than providing some contraband and other encouragement had nothing to do with the vandalism. Chuck Daily was 18 tops and likely younger so he was, although a more significant contributor, also innocent. This was my job.

I scrolled the following note to Phil on his copy of the note sent to the motel:

Dear Philip,

I hope the above apology & reparations (with Coach’s + Chuck’s contribution) settles the issue. The Thunderbird is aware that the three of us were not members of the Chestnut Street Hockey Team. Further, I wish to apologize to each of you for jeopardizing your future participation in ASHI tournaments. Finally, not as an excuse but as a statement of fact, let me say that I simply could not handle the extremely volatile combination of drugs + booze present in Room 110. I will try to have better self control in the future. See you in Jersey.

Sincerely,
Theo

P.S. It was a marvelous reconstruction job on Sunday morning though wasn’t it.
A few weeks later, Coach sent Phil the following:

Phil – enclosed is a check for $34.00 for damages at motel. $24.00 (1/5 of $120) is what I feel my obligation is and $10.00 for your appeasement. Peace, “Coach”

I purchased another money order for $30 and sent Coach’s check along with it to cover the remaining debt. I made the next trip to a tourney in New Jersey where instead of destroying property I became close friends with, if only for a night, #76.

Animal House as a Permanent Reality

I lived with my parents until I was 23 years old when I moved into the 328 Club in September 1974. From that point forward, for the next 15 years, until the death of my mother and subsequent move back to my parent’s house – now my house – I lived in an atmosphere that could only be described as National Lampoon’s Animal House.

May 8-9, 1981 Leominster, Massechusetts

PREFACE: Let’s be honest, 27 years and way too many beers makes memories very blurry if existent at all with regard to specific incidents. Thank God for juke box records and other papers that exist in the archives. Today’s incident is documented, albeit after the fact by a few days, in preserved correspondences and receipts. So, without further adieu –

Phil has mentioned, albeit too humbly, the greatness of his street hockey team – Chestnut Street. Now, it was a team, he was Captain; it was an institution, he was a player before the team was great and long after he was great. By 1981, in fact, at 31, Phil was no longer All-Lancaster Recreation Commission caliber nor was Chestnut Street (16-4, 2nd place that season) the premier local team. However, in their heyday, say, 1977-80 or so, they were not just a local power but a State and a regional champ and a contender each May at Nationals. While they never made National finals; I’m certain they made quarters on more than occassion.

It was with those intentions that 25 or so of us, including the 15-18 players, headed north to Nationals in Leominster, MA on the morning of May 8, 1981. We piled into, maybe 7 vehicles, loaded with sticks, pucks, munchies, luggage and beaucoup adult beverages. No wonder the juke box showed no income that weekend.

It was my 2nd or 3rd (and final) trip to Nationals with the team. The players, by and large, did not let game responsibilities get in the way of good clean fun. I, with no such responsibilities, definitely did not. As I recall such tournaments, Friday night was a great meal, full of camaraderie, cheer, good food, fellowship and beer. Memorable in its own right; not to be missed, somewhat formal, sports jackets sans tie, and good steaks. The Saturday games – being part of a 32 team tourney – typically presented no real challenge although that was not always the case.

Saturday offered two games; the first in the morning against a lesser team that would result in a blow out win and then a second against another team that had lost their morning game a bigger blowout particularly after Friday night’s inhibitors wore off. The 16 teams that won afternoon games were ranked based on record/margin and scheduled to play a potentially grueling (up to four game) single elimination tourney on Sunday. Saturday night’s drinking was usually a little more subdued. (I may have the first class meal mixed up; it might have been Saturday not Friday). I’m pretty certain that less beer was consumed Saturday then Friday. Sunday’s schedule was obviously tougher. My recollection is that Chestnut Street usually won its opener but probably lost game two more often than not.

I have absolutely no memory of how the team did in ’81. I know they were not the same team as in the prior few years. I have less memory of the Friday and Saturday night antics; I do – unfortunately – have a nagging guilty feeling regarding the Sunday morning (or afternoon) pre-departure episode. I will save that for Part II.